What’s the difference between a boner and a bonus?
Your wife will never refuse an opportunity to blow your bonus.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.
I haven’t understood a single joke since this quarantine started.
They must all be inside jokes.
My epileptic son loves our new Christmas Tree
You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.
Why don’t black people ever go on cruises?
They’re not falling for that one again.
A man walks into a bar carrying a plastic bag
Walks into a bar
I work in a hospital, and I found a rectal thermometer in my pocket today.
Some asshole must have my pen.
I hated the quarantine at first. Then I realized I have everything I need at my house, and I slowly started loving the isolation.
Probably it’s stock home syndrome.
A buddy once asked me if I’ve ever stuck it in her, you know, “other hole”.
I said that’s dumb because she might get pregnant.
Next year, I’m moving to Greenwich, England
I don’t know what I’m going to do in the mean time