firefly
One firefly to another: “I really need to get some glasses, I nearly fucked a lit cigarette”.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
new law
How do we not have a law requiring the cashier to high five you when making a condom purchase?
sounds
Ever wonder if the sound effects in porn is actually just a recording of a fat girl eating a delicious hamburger?
really good..
Either my boyfriend has early signs of Parkinson’s or I just gave him a really good blow-job.
Some advice:
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.
start
I’m about to start my work, but first let me disamble my stapler and name and polish every part.
wondering
Sometimes I stay awake wondering if there’s a number between 1 and 10 that thinks of me too.
guess
They call me Mr. Rhetorical. Can you guess why?
Don’t complain
Don’t complain about your job to the lady waxing your vagina.
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