I just walked into a restaurant.
I just walked into a restaurant. They asked if I had any reservations. I said yes, I heard the reviews were shit.
Food Jokes
Food jokes and kitchen humor served fresh and funny. From cheesy puns to hungry gags about pizza, coffee and everything on the menu, this collection is a full plate of laughs. Warning: reading these funny food jokes on an empty stomach may cause both hunger and giggles.
Still hungry for puns? Our 100 dad jokes have a whole section of food wordplay.
What if, instead of Cinderella being a cleaning slave, she was a…
What if, instead of Cinderella being a cleaning slave, she was a cooking slave and her name was Mozzarella?
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden,…
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden, when you order it the person behind you has to pay for it..
Took grandma to a Chinese restaurant yesterday.
Took grandma to a Chinese restaurant yesterday. She used her chopsticks to knit a sweater out of her noodles.
Only two beers
Two friends, dead drunk, are on their way home, one says to the other, go up to my house for the last drink… They enter… Read More »Only two beers
When love fades…
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s lovely voice from the kitchen. “What would you like for… Read More »When love fades…
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th…
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza… Provided you’re still alive.
Pair of
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fancy restaurant when a couple looking absolutely gorgeous walk in “What a pair!” says the wife… Read More »Pair of
I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger…
I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger one, and then a bigger one… They call it the dominoes… Read More »I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger…
You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table,…
You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table, thrusts a girl on it, and fucks her? I just did that, but… Read More »You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table,…
I beat my wife at dominos the other night.
I beat my wife at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
Sex is like pizza
Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it
I lost my Pizza cutter so I used my Bryan Adams Cd..
I lost my Pizza cutter so I used my Bryan Adams Cd.. Cuts Like a Knife
Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the…
Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I’d like to hear today’s special. I said yeah He… Read More »Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the…
What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a…
What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a waitress? Error in connecting to the server
Box or wrestle
waitress said ” you wanna box for your leftovers ? ” I said “No , but I’ll wrestle you for the check ! ‘
Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time…
Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time in ages. The Waiter said, I am sorry but we are so busy… Read More »Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time…
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch…
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of your best wine,” he ordered.… Read More »After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch…
Guess the number
I called a restaurant and ask for a table for two.. he said ” wrong number ” so I said ” I’d like a table… Read More »Guess the number
This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.
He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass… Read More »This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.
A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.
Oh geez, this joke (above) is hysterical!I’m Australian. Years ago I visited Glasgow alone. I walked into a restaurant that night. The lady at the… Read More »A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies “Free”.The customer, completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender “Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of… Read More »A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “How much for a beer?”
I’m going to open a restaurant called “I don’t care”
That way I can finally go to that place my girlfriend is always talking about.
I’ve opened up a restaurant called “Karma”
There is no menu, you get what you deserve.
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”His wife reminded… Read More »A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
Both have to smell it; neither get to eat it
A man is driving and hits a woman. Who’s fault is it?
It’s the mans fault. Why would he be driving in the kitchen?
The waitress asked me if I was familiar with ”Farm to Table” dining.
I told her I was more experienced with fast food and “Table to Toilet” dining.
Why does Eobard Thawne love Big Belly Burger so much?
Because it’s fast food
A texas woman chokes on some food.
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who… Read More »A texas woman chokes on some food.