Trump
Odds of the British press IQ puzzle Donald Trump came to London, and met Queen Elizabeth. Trump asked the queen saying, “Your Majesty, I find… Read More »Trump
Food Jokes
Food jokes and kitchen humor served fresh and funny. From cheesy puns to hungry gags about pizza, coffee and everything on the menu, this collection is a full plate of laughs. Warning: reading these funny food jokes on an empty stomach may cause both hunger and giggles.
Crazy Story
So I was at a restaurant with my family and this woman came up with a child. She looked about 40 with blonde hair. The… Read More »Crazy Story
We don’t serve pandas in here…
A panda walked into a restaurant and ordered a meal. After the panda ate, he shot the waiter and left. They called the police and… Read More »We don’t serve pandas in here…
Entitled Parent Joke
So I was at a restaurant with my family and this woman came up with a child. She looked about 40 with blonde hair. The… Read More »Entitled Parent Joke
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
A waiter brings dinner to the table
The patron remarks, “Why is your thumb on my steak?””I didn’t want it to fall on the floor again!”
Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
Friend:Does it have your name on it?Me:Well no, but what about your mom? I Don’t see your name anywhere on her body last night.Is she… Read More »Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
your slogan says “when you’re here, you’re family”
Olive Garden Waiter: Sir, I am not adding you to my will.
Two guys are going out to get breakfast. One asks “wanna get a bagel sandwich?”
“A bagel sandwich? That’s way too much bread.”
TFW you get in line to pay at a pho restaurant
And it’s a big pho queue
My wife left me
a slice of pizza. She’s the best.
Probiotics are a critical part of your diet
The health of your digestive system is too important to leave up to amateur biotics
Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so… Read More »Oysters
Steven and Connie can have such an easy relationships – here me out
There’s one slice of pizza left, who gets it? They both want it! What will they do!BAM They fuse into Stevonnie and they both have… Read More »Steven and Connie can have such an easy relationships – here me out
How do you pay your waiter if it’s a letter of the alphabet?
With a Q-tip.(Joke courtesy of my 8-year-old son)
Why did the peanut butter sandwich do jumping Jacks?
Why did the peanut butter sandwich do jumping Jacks?He was feeling Chunky.
Why did the waiter’s computer system not work?
Because of a server error.
There was a dude in my restaurant waiting
We had some kind of competition, who can better wait.He could wait how hard he wanted, but in the end I won.because I was waiter.
Yo mama so dumb…
She thought blender was a cooking app!
The donkey in the backyard
A restaurant owner has a sign in the front: “whoever makes the donkey in the backyard laugh, gets a free meal”A man comes in. He… Read More »The donkey in the backyard
Palette Cleanser
The first time Charlie ate dinner with his girlfriend’s family, her mom prepared a huge pot of soup for the whole family. The dad, mom,… Read More »Palette Cleanser
Spoon on the kitchen floor
Son: Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl? Mom: Son, I just wanted to pick up the spoon from… Read More »Spoon on the kitchen floor
A chemist walks into a bar and orders a Pb&J sandwich.
He dies of lead poisoning.
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but there is no atmosphere.
I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said,…
I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said, “harrow, I’m Wang Kin the Chef” I said, “No worries mate, I’ll call back… Read More »I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said,…
No one at home…
They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye – very young, ravishing and delectable.
As they each read their menus, the gentleman asked his date what she would like to eat.
Jealous
Her: I can’t believe you would talk to that other woman right in front of me like that! I saaaaaw the way you looked at… Read More »Jealous
Just to hold
My wife came in starving today so I made her a great big sandwich. “Don’t eat it just yet, just hold the plate” I said. Five… Read More »Just to hold
Good enough
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours… Read More »Good enough
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