Masked Rodent (58200)
After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”
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After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”
I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple 💜 🚬💧
Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he looked like he was 80 over 30 years ago…
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”
How soon after waking up is it OK to take a nap… Asking for myself.
l want my children to have all the things in the world l could never afford. Then I’m going to move in with them.
I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off! I yelled “just kidding” and IMMEDIATLY gave him his gun back!
You know, the band “Fine Young Cannibals” originally had 8 members.
When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been having the right kind of sex.