One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

Recipe said to “Chill in the fridge for two hours”…

Recipe said to “Chill in the fridge for two hours”… I nearly died.

If I was in marketing I’d advise a company that makes pregnancy tests to call them Maybe Baby.

Sometimes I’ll be sitting on the couch doing nothing, and I’ll think to myself, “Man, I’m really getting good at this.”

I’d like to see the guy who invented beer and ask him what’s he working on now.

Agents of special services who were caught in infidelity by their wives are discharged from work due to unsuitability.

Due to Inflation, the Five Second Rule has been extended to Ten Seconds.

If no woman gives me sex soon I will take matters into my own hands!

Today I lost my book, Organizational Skills for Dummies……again.

Be aware!!!! It is quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t even been made yet.

Plastic surgery finally gives people the opportunity to represent externally how they feel on the inside … fake.