Make Him Look Like He Has Money
Emily: Can someone make my boyfriend look like he has money?Ben: Sure. Here you go.James: Evil work. Fair outcome. Photos generated by AI. The people… Read More »Make Him Look Like He Has Money
Money Jokes
Money jokes for anyone whose wallet has seen better days. Banks, bills, taxes, the boss who never gives a raise and the eternal quest for a good bargain all get the comedy treatment here. These funny money jokes prove that when you are broke, at least you can still laugh for free.
Payday still far away? Kill the time with our 86 office jokes.
It’s Not Just a Feeling
– Doctor, I feel like everyone around me is trying to rip me off. – Relax, my friend! You’re perfectly healthy. It’s not just a feeling. That’ll be 150 dollars.
Opening a Joint Account
Bob walks into a bank with a pound of weed to open a joint account.
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my…
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my money and now I am being arrested.
Every time someone over 40 complains about my generation, I wish…
Every time someone over 40 complains about my generation, I wish I could earn a dollar. That way, I could buy a house in the… Read More »Every time someone over 40 complains about my generation, I wish…
moment
A young boy approaches God and asks, “Is it true that a billion years is just a second to you?” God answers, “Yes.” The boy… Read More »moment
Winning the lottery can sometimes be wife changing.
Winning the lottery can sometimes be wife changing.
I don’t see my wife & kids anymore.
I don’t see my wife & kids anymore. It’s all due to gambling. I won the lottery and I moved to Hawai’i
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me…
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me all your money and I’ll let you live. The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh! You… Read More »A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me…
October is eczema awareness month.
October is eczema awareness month. I’m raising money…. by selling scratch cards
Money shots
What kind of porn do bankers watch? Trans action.
Tired of losing money in the stock market?
Tired of losing money in the stock market? Come visit our online casino.
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just…
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just likes my company.
My money
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
Happiness
A Chinese business man has been sharing photos of children crawling around and playing on top of a Lamborghini, saying that the happiness of children… Read More »Happiness
whoresome joke
If having sex for money makes you a whore… then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the…
A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the clerk and says “Hello, I’d like to purchase… Read More »A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the…
I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So…
I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So I went up to him and gave him a dollar. He happily… Read More »I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So…
What small thing screams “I’m rich”?
What small thing screams “I’m rich”? A dwarf who just won the lottery.
Two men are robbing a liquor store… One says, ‘Is this whisky?’…
Two men are robbing a liquor store… One says, ‘Is this whisky?’ ‘Yes’, the other replies, ‘but not as whisky was wobbing a bank’
What do sex and the U.S.
What do sex and the U.S. Military have in common? When you pull out at the wrong time you end up wasting 20 years and… Read More »What do sex and the U.S.
Police arrested a time traveller from 2018.
Police arrested a time traveller from 2018. He still can’t believe that he was arrested for not wearing a mask in a bank.
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy…
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!
Simple trick
How to get a woman to think about you nonstop… …borrow a large sum of money from her?
Example
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of… Read More »Example
Hand made
A baby that came from a sperm bank is basically ‘hand made.’
Job advertising
Join our mid-aged and unfriendly team at an awkward-winning company with more than 1200 employees worldwide gone berserk. If you are: – Looking for a… Read More »Job advertising
Drinks for everyone
A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously drunk man stumbles in. “Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for… Read More »Drinks for everyone
A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won thelottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”
I told my husband this joke and he said, “If I won the lottery, I’d give you the world, mi vida,” and gave me a… Read More »A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won thelottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”