A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger
A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger.The imam says “mine is the biggest God and I’ll give you an example;… Read More »A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger
Money Jokes
Money jokes for anyone whose wallet has seen better days. Banks, bills, taxes, the boss who never gives a raise and the eternal quest for a good bargain all get the comedy treatment here. These funny money jokes prove that when you are broke, at least you can still laugh for free.
Girls always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they start calling me ugly and broke.
If China ever adopts blockchain, it will be the death of BTC.
It seems that BTC fans like to point at any blockchain-interest out the Chinese Government as being “good for Bitcoin”. This is so very wrong.While… Read More »If China ever adopts blockchain, it will be the death of BTC.
Two old Jews are walking past a church
A sign out front reads, “Convert to Catholicism, get $20.”The first Jew keeps walking, but soon notices his friend has stopped to take a closer… Read More »Two old Jews are walking past a church
What’s the difference between money and dead bodies?
I don’t have a pile of money in my basement
If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks…
Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so… Read More »Oysters
My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
“Son, you’re going to have to stop money laundering.”
Her: They’re charging a dollar to pump up your tires now
Me: That’s inflation for you
Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper
One of them notices that the other’s paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda”What the hell are you reading?… Read More »Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper
A son asks his father what is the meaning of “in practice” and “in theory”
“Il show you son. Call your sister.” Says the father”Daughter would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes of course,… Read More »A son asks his father what is the meaning of “in practice” and “in theory”
A father has a meeting with his future son-in-law
The father asks “I see you are in between jobs, how are you going to provide for yourself and my daugher?”The young man replies “Well,… Read More »A father has a meeting with his future son-in-law
An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
…and decides to to indulge herself with a milk bath, so she calls her local dairyman. “I’d like to order meself some milk” “How much… Read More »An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
A priest went to get his hair cut.
Afterwards, the barber refused payment, saying “I cannot take money from a man of the cloth.” The priest was so moved that the next day… Read More »A priest went to get his hair cut.
I met a baker who purposefully burnt his bread.
He would then take the ashes and sell them in clay vases.I wouldn’t think he would be able to make much money from that, but… Read More »I met a baker who purposefully burnt his bread.
As a child I stole money from my dads bank card.
I’m now a [m30] my dad never knew exactly how much I took but since then I have been fortunate enough to be able to… Read More »As a child I stole money from my dads bank card.
People’s Postcode Lottery?
Is this nonsense? Does anyone win? Do you do it?
What did the exit sign at the sperm bank say?
Thanks for coming.
Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
The Sackler Family of Perdue Pharmaceutical has stashed billions of dollars away, profits made from the sales of opioids to the American people, profits made… Read More »Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
People used to call me ugly until they saw my bank account….
Now they call me ugly and poor
So there was this one prostitute that said she would do anything for money…
There were these really irritating guys that made me want to strangle the life out of their bodies. I asked her if she could beat… Read More »So there was this one prostitute that said she would do anything for money…
So there’s this guy drinking at a bar, getting absolutely shit faced
Near the end of the night, after he had a few too many, he pukes all over his shirt. He’s yells out “oh fuck, not… Read More »So there’s this guy drinking at a bar, getting absolutely shit faced
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my…
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks….Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
Explain
It would be difficult to explain a fountain to someone from the 3rd world. “This is our water showing off contraption… we also throw our… Read More »Explain
Beer VS. Women
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not….1 point for beer! Beer is horrible, when it is hot….1 point for women! A cold beer… Read More »Beer VS. Women
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job,” said my 35… Read More »“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
Don’t understand
If someone doesn’t call back after 2-3 calls, chances are they’re just not that into you. I wish these debt collectors would understand that.
If I ever won the lottery, I would still go back to work….
If I ever won the lottery, I would still go back to work…. And tell them all to GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
JOKES
Having sex for money is illegal but most girls know clever tricks to get around it such as marriage.
candy or money
I don’t know what’s happening in this country. You’ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It’s a nightmare –… Read More »candy or money
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