A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”
“Sweet!”, he replied. “I won $20. Here’s $10. Now bugger off.”
Money Jokes
Money jokes for anyone whose wallet has seen better days. Banks, bills, taxes, the boss who never gives a raise and the eternal quest for a good bargain all get the comedy treatment here. These funny money jokes prove that when you are broke, at least you can still laugh for free.
A man asks a female friend if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars…
“A million?” she says. “I guess so.” “Would you sleep with me for just one dollar?” he asks. “One dollar?! Hell no! What kind of… Read More »A man asks a female friend if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars…
A thief broke into my house
He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him
A robber enters a bank and points a gun at the teller
Robber: Put all the money in the bag or you’re Geography!Teller: Don’t you mean History?Robber: Don’t change the subject!
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following… Read More »A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves.
The boy sees a worm trying to crawl into an anthill. “I bet fifty bucks that I can get that worm into that anthill!” says… Read More »A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves.
What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?
EDIT: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”
The teller is a little taken aback by the customer’s language, but does her best to be professional.”Sir, I’m more than happy to help with… Read More »Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”
Reporter to the world’s first trillionaire: “Sir, what are you going to do with all that money?”.
“I can buy a chicken and some bread now!”, says Abou, while walking out of his bank in Zimbabwe
Good news – the Sting impersonator that was taking money to play gigs and then ran off with the money…
… has turned himself into The Police.
Got some sad news today
Got some sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion.He slept with 1… Read More »Got some sad news today
Got some sad news today.
After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with his patients and now can no… Read More »Got some sad news today.
My 3rd Christmas in a row, alone and broke
I’ve secluded myself away from my one and only family member, and friends over the past few years(death in family, breakup, medical issues). It’s sick… Read More »My 3rd Christmas in a row, alone and broke
What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?
EDIT: wow this really blew up thanks for gold
Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to… Read More »Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”
A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents.“Thank you,” she… Read More »A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”
What did the redditor say after detonating a bomb in a bank?
EDIT: Wow! This blew up.Thanks for the gold!
Writer with no money/food
Hi guys, I’m a freelance writer, and even though I barely make it through each year, I enjoy what I do. Since I have to… Read More »Writer with no money/food
My uncle doesn’t like us lighting crackers on special occasions..
He says we’re burning money.
What do you have when you have 2000 British pounds?
A ton of money.
Man walks into a bank asking for an Interest-Free Checking account
“Who cares?” the receptionist says and sighs.
Today I took a taxi. The passenger before me had left his wallet behind on the backseat
Inside was a picture of my wife and kids.
If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme…
Then two of my friends would have a dollar and two of their friends EACH would have have two dollars AT LEAST. And the guy… Read More »If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme…
people always tell me how rude they think it is when people play loud music in public so I was really surprised when people got mad at me for putting a stop to it.
They always tell things like, “Get off the stage!” and “I paid good money for these tickets!”
A panda walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the… Read More »A panda walks into a bar.
Three people are stranded on an island with a wizard
The wizard tells them “When you climb those trees,whatever you ask for will be at the top waiting for you.” The first guy climbs and… Read More »Three people are stranded on an island with a wizard
Dealing with a contradiction in a character
I have this one character that supposed to represent two things: Old Money coming with a prestigious name and the self-made man who reach success… Read More »Dealing with a contradiction in a character
You will be able to get drow/valk/shudde from the christmas gift event, even as a f2p.
you will need 1500 gifts to get there, and here’s a breakdown of when you can get the gifts from:300 from 1 gem deal in… Read More »You will be able to get drow/valk/shudde from the christmas gift event, even as a f2p.
What would you change in this $1800 NZD build?
Hey everyoneA couple of you may remember my post yesterday showing my first draft of parts. Since then I have taken your recommendations and applied… Read More »What would you change in this $1800 NZD build?
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