Make Him Look Like He Has Money
Emily: Can someone make my boyfriend look like he has money?Ben: Sure. Here you go.James: Evil work. Fair outcome. Photos generated by AI. The people… Read More »Make Him Look Like He Has Money
Dating Jokes
Dating jokes for the hopeful, the hopeless and everyone swiping in between. From first-date disasters to hilarious pickup lines and the mysteries of modern romance, these funny dating jokes will have you laughing instead of crying at your love life. Single or taken, there is something here for you.
Made it past the first date? Then you are ready for our 100 husband and wife jokes.
Guys Who Plan Ahead
Her: I like guys who plan ahead.Him: I drank a litre of pineapple juice.Her: What?Him: What? Seen on a Polish meme page
A Stranger
– If I left you for another man, would you feel sorry? – Feel sorry for a stranger?
What Do You Want It to Be
– Honey, I’m pregnant! We’re having a baby. What do you want it to be? – A joke.
Did you have many guys before me?
Comic: Did you have many guys before me? No, why do you ask? The condom vending machine in your bathroom got me curious.
If you need a problem, I’m here
The most honest t-shirt ever printed: If you need a problem, I’m here.
Two Ice Cubes From Me
A guy to the waiter: “I’d like to buy that lovely blonde at the bar a drink. What’s she having?” “Sir, the lady is drinking… Read More »Two Ice Cubes From Me
What’s Your Ring Size?
Author: Twonks
The Best Revenge
My breakup was so bad that I decided to post some revenge porn. It was naked pictures of myself to show how low my ex-partner’s… Read More »The Best Revenge
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then… Read More »I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.
I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. She’s an animal in bed.
I asked a time traveller when will I get a girlfriend.
I asked a time traveller when will I get a girlfriend. He said he can’t travel that far in future.
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, it took my breath away?
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, it took my breath away? I’ve never run so fast.
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s taking her retarded boyfriend to the pub tonight. I can’t believe the bitch is cheating… Read More »I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another…
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another round right after they finished having sex. “Come again?”
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall. I was about to confront them but I managed to calm myself down. That wouldn’t… Read More »I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
My girlfriend said “Don’t talk about sex until we’re married”…
My girlfriend said “Don’t talk about sex until we’re married” Now we’re married she says “you can TALK about sex all you want..”
After so many years..
A guy asks his girlfriend for a blowjob. She says “No, you won’t respect me enough to marry me and I love you.” After they’re… Read More »After so many years..
if I don`t have a job I can get my…
A hot girlfriend is like a job It’s easier to get one once you already have one…
don`t worry!
After a long night of frenzied, hot and passionate love making, a guy notices a photo of another man on the woman’s bedside table. He… Read More »don`t worry!
They say that the average man ejaculates at 20mph.
They say that the average man ejaculates at 20mph. I’m clearly not average then… My new girlfriend has been with a lot of guys and… Read More »They say that the average man ejaculates at 20mph.
Her home
As my daughter was walking out the door to go on her first date, in my best grumpy old tough guy dad voice, I growled,… Read More »Her home
Excuse
My friend came pissed off at me, saying that it had not even been two days since he broke up and I already had sex… Read More »Excuse
Used to be called a super deluxe wank.
A girl is talking to her guy friend: “I found condoms in my boyfriend’s jacket. We don’t use condoms and when I confronted him, he… Read More »Used to be called a super deluxe wank.
Lists
My wife thought it would be fun if we each have a list of 3 people that would be OK to sleep with if given… Read More »Lists
Good idea
My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.” “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that… Read More »Good idea
tulips
my girlfriend says her pussy’s like a rose But I think it looks more like tulips
My money
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
On our first date.
On our first date. Her: I really like men who plan ahead. Me: That’s why I drank 2 litres of pineapple juice today.
My girlfriend is like terms and conditions Because I ignore…
My girlfriend is like terms and conditions Because I ignore everything she says and agree with her.