JOKESTER

We haven’t seen any porn on your phone in a couple of days….you okay?

~NSA

JOKESTER

I don’t know who needs to hear this but….

shave your Valentines gift.

JOKESTER

“Head & Shoulders” for guys it’s a shampoo. For fat chicks, a selfie.

JOKESTER

Having a Playboy magazine to just read the articles is like watching the Superbowl just for the football 😜

JOKESTER

Telling her to calm down is child’s play, if you really want to see her lose her shit tell her that she’s acting like her mother.

JOKESTER

Work mode activated.
Work mode initialized.
Error 4321: could not find “motivation.exe.”
A fatal error has occurred.
Activating sleep mode.

JOKESTER

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate when talking to women.

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary

What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous

JOKESTER

A couple are fussing over their new born baby boy
“Look at the size of his willy. Its huge”. Says the husband. ….. “Yes, but he does have your eyes dear” said the wife

JOKESTER

Somebody missed the perfect opportunity to name this Chinese Corona Virus the Kung Flu 😂