Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales. So today I decided to weigh myself for the first

Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted. For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Great choice

I was complaining to my wife about our nonexistent sex life. Zero fucks were given.

Before Coffee : I hate everybody After Coffee : I feel good about hating everybody