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Jokes

  • The Best Revenge

    My breakup was so bad that I decided to post some revenge porn.

    It was naked pictures of myself to show how low my ex-partner’s standards are.

  • Opening a Joint Account

    Bob walks into a bank with a pound of weed and hands it over to the teller.

    Shocked, the teller asks, “What’s this for?”

    Bob: “I’m here to open a joint account.”

  • Most Honest Graduation Caps Ever

    Meme: Most honest graduation caps ever

    Most honest graduation caps ever! The graduates decorated their caps with the logos of DeepSeek, ChatGPT, Claude and Gemini.

  • What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium?

    What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium?
    A migration to the cloud

  • Masked Rodent (58200)

    After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”

  • I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…

    I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then I realized that she was talking about time.

  • I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple

    I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple 💜 🚬💧

  • Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he…

    Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he looked like he was 80 over 30 years ago…

  • I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do…

    I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do I smoke? I said why was that your first question?He said, it wasn’t.

  • num-num

    A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to examine her, he says, “Relax, you are about to feel a little numbness.” “What do you mean?” asks the woman. The doctor puts his head in between her legs and mumbles, num-num-num-num-num-num…