@Mo

By legalizing Cannabis and same sex marriage, we are finally interpreting the Bible correctly.

“A man who lays with another man, should be stoned.”

🌲🏵🌲

@Jeep

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you better seek professional help.

@Kitty

Boss: I hope you didn’t think about work while you were on vacation.
Me: I don’t even think about it when I’m here.

@Bluezzzman

Interviewer: The only experience you put on your application is lifeguard. We looking for someone to sell insurance. Why should l hire you?
Me : l can’t swim.
Interviewer : You’re hired

@JOKESTER

Idon’t understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms.
It’s much more awkward trying to return them.
“She didn’t like me.”😐

@Jeep

*prior to sex in your 20’s*
Him: Did you take the pill?

*prior to sex in your 60’s*
Her: Did you take the pill?

@Jeep

I tried starting my day without coffee.

My court date is in August.

@MO

My sex life is like Coca-Cola.

First it was normal, then Light and now Zero.

@Jeep

Driver’s licenses expire and you choose to renew, marriage licenses should be the same.

@Nutty squirrel

Her: I wanna spice things up.
Him: You know I’m allergic to chili.
Her: I mean in the bedroom.
Him: I can’t eat it anywhere in the house, Karen.