Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my wife I replied : “Lets have sex then because there are horny men…. basically everywhere.”
My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a weatherman I forecast 6+ inches lasting for a couple of hours. It ends up being less then 4” and is over in 2 minutes.
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager
Once you start buying cheap brakes….. You won’t be able to stop
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender replies. “Is it a foreign drink or something?” “I don’t have any idea,” the guy says. “My doctor told me about it. He said I should try drinking Less.”
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza… Provided you’re still alive.