a new drink at the bar

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender replies. “Is it a foreign drink or something?” “I don’t have any idea,” the guy says. “My doctor told me about it. He said I should try drinking Less.”

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Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza… Provided you’re still alive.

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How many politicians does it take to solve a problem? Trick question, nobody knows, because it’s never happened.

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Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”. Djokovic understood: “No 1 can come without vaccination”.

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After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics. Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself, and how not to argue with me at the top of the stairs… again.

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she got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she answered with ” probably failing my drivers test “

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@ChrisNewton

My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my wedding dress and after 10 years it still fits. Of course it fits I replied You were 9 months pregnant when we were married.

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My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

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