Holiday jokes for every season of celebration, from Christmas crackers and New Year gags to Halloween scares and Easter puns. This is your one-stop stash of festive humor to lighten up the family gathering, the office party or the long drive home. Warning: contains a high number of dad-level puns.
Getting ready for December? Our 60 Christmas jokes are the best festive gags on the site, perfect for crackers and the family dinner.
Looking for Christmas jokes that work as well at the dinner table as they do inside a cracker? You are in the right place. We… Read More »60 Christmas Jokes to Make the Whole Family Groan and Giggle
My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in… Read More »My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of…
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE I know im early but i suffer from premature congratulation.
I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on Christmas Eve and didn’t get back until this afternoon… When I arrived… Read More »I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on…
I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa wasn’t real. I was heart broken… I jumped in my car and… Read More »I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa…
The wife has just been diagnosed with an iron deficiency…. So I’ve bought her a new one for Christmas🎄🎅
I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on on Christmas Day I didn’t have anything to… Read More »I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on…
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you’re going… Read More »My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween…
Apparently having sex constantly helps the memory.. Happy Christmas everybody..
I wish you a happy New Year and for it to finally start looking like your photos on Instagram!
This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym… … and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month… Read More »Cancel
My new year’s resolution is I’m going to be less condescending. And by the way, condescending means talking down to people.
My New Year’s Resolution is to go to the gym more often, get into grad school, pay off my bills, and learn a new language.… Read More »My New Year’s Resolution is to go to the gym more often, get…
I asked the hot girl in gym ” What’s your New Year Resolution?” She said “Fuck you!” I’m now eagerly waiting for the year to… Read More »We have the same resolution!
Christmas presents are like sex It’s always more fun to get them from other people than to give yourself one.
Banks need to be better at restocking these ATMs at Christmas. This is the 5 th one I have been to that said insufficient funds.
Easter is only a couple of days away, I need to hurry up and decide if I’m going to spend it in the living room,… Read More »JOKESTER
You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.
“Because your mom loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.” “Thanks Dad!” “You’re welcome Alan.”
I don’t know who needs to hear this but…. shave your Valentines gift.
r/aww•Posted byu/sjrem4 hours ago2My 12yo son used the $50 he got for Christmas to buy our old hound a new bed 48.3k points415 comments
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he open it
I started the year off on the highest note possible.
Have a great 2019!
Because he only comes once a year.
Actually it’s probably been about a year and a half
My brain: knows NYE stands for New year’s Eve.Also my brain: New York eity
Who’s there?Abby.Abby who?Abby new year!
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5thWhy?Because I like to reduce fractions.Happy New Year
Because today they got into a fight, and 2021!Happy new year y’all!