Why is Santa Claus always so jolly?
He knows where all the bad girls live.
Holiday Jokes
Holiday jokes for every season of celebration, from Christmas crackers and New Year gags to Halloween scares and Easter puns. This is your one-stop stash of festive humor to lighten up the family gathering, the office party or the long drive home. Warning: contains a high number of dad-level puns.
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn’t believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.
I remember as a child, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come…
Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
I gave my daughter a watch for Christmas. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, “That’s a pretty watch you’ve got there! Does it tell you the time?”
She laughed and said, “No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!”
Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they make the toys.
Knock knock
Who’s there?Mary.Mary who?Mary Christmas!Knock knock.Who’s there?Anna.Anna who?Anna happy new year!Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit 🙂
Please stop asking for a perfect man for Christmas.
Three times this week Santa has tried to kidnap me.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house.
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