A warning to all.
Be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. Quite rightly, police are out checking on people.Last night I went our for… Read More »A warning to all.
Holiday Jokes
Holiday jokes for every season of celebration, from Christmas crackers and New Year gags to Halloween scares and Easter puns. This is your one-stop stash of festive humor to lighten up the family gathering, the office party or the long drive home. Warning: contains a high number of dad-level puns.
Why does Santa carry a big sack of gifts?
That’s just how he presents himself.
What is the best present for Christmas?
Artery.Because it comes from the heart…
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when he asked what the weather forecast for Christmas was?
It looks like rain, dear.
What does Santa Clause love the most about Mrs. Clause?
The jingle physics
Who is the king of christmas music?
Elfis Presently
Ukes Before Nukes!
A few days ago I was on a plane from St Petersburg, Russia to Helsinki (I am from San Francisco) and was seated next to… Read More »Ukes Before Nukes!
My ex just donated her eggs and got $3,000! WTF?
I donated sperm and all I got was a weird look from the Salvation Army Santa.
Epileptic Santa
He seizures when you’re sleeping
O’ahu Events For December 2019
Howzit! Makin monstah thread kinna buggah, cause all done one by one, so PLEASE CHECK ALL INFORMATION BEFORE GO ANYWHERES! We probably screwed up link… Read More »O’ahu Events For December 2019
You will be able to get drow/valk/shudde from the christmas gift event, even as a f2p.
you will need 1500 gifts to get there, and here’s a breakdown of when you can get the gifts from:300 from 1 gem deal in… Read More »You will be able to get drow/valk/shudde from the christmas gift event, even as a f2p.
Upset for being asked not to hold my nephew?
I’m so fricking mad right now, it’s pouring out of me. I need to know if my wife and I are assholes or getting wrongly… Read More »Upset for being asked not to hold my nephew?
Wanna know why they call me Christmas?
Cause Christmas came early this year.
Why Did Santa Buy 3 Gardens?
So he can ho ho ho
Why is Santa always so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!
Why does Jesus always look sad?
Because he has birthday and Christmas on the same day.
Just got my secret Santa gift, figured you’d like it
r/secretsanta•Posted byu/foreverstressedout3 hours agoJust got my gift. I love DCI and this is amazing! Thank you so much! 32 points1 comment
Just dropped a copy of “A Christmas Carol” on my toe.
It hurts like the Dickens!
A Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red looked out his window.
He turns to his wife and says, Bring the little ones inside, it looks like its going to be a wet day. His wife says… Read More »A Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red looked out his window.
My New year resolution is to have better eyesight
I am aiming for 2020 vision.
“Daddy, why does Santa carry that big bag of gifts?”
Dad: “That’s just how he presents himself.”
Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-ish Presley
Hey guys if you know anyone who’s spending Christmas alone because they don’t have friends or family let me know!
Because I’d need to borrow them some chairs
Have you guys seen that peloton commercial where the wife is super stoked to get an exercise bike for Christmas?
Also, does anybody have a couch I could crash on for a few days?
Why did the Grinch go to the bottle store?
To find some Christmas spirit
I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
What can I do? I can’t not go, it would be really messed up because i keep pushing off hanging out on weekends with b.s.… Read More »I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
Merry Christmas everybody!
One day four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to… Read More »Merry Christmas everybody!
What’s the difference between a Christmas wish and a ramp in a swine pen?
One is for figgy pudding and the other is for piggy footing.I’m a dad!
Why does santa have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year
Why is Santa’s sack so big ?
. . Cause he only comes once a year.