Do Churches Treat That Now
– Doctor, I slept with my best friend’s wife and ever since I can’t find any peace, it burns… – What you need is a church. – Doctor, since when do churches treat gonorrhea?!
Dirty Jokes
Welcome to our dirty jokes collection, more than 400 of the filthiest and funniest adult jokes we could round up in one place. Expect NSFW one-liners, X-rated puns and cheeky gags made for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor. For the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 200 dirty jokes for adults. New dirty jokes get added all the time, so bookmark the page and check back. Strictly 18+ and definitely not one for the family dinner table.
Weakness and Hardness
A woman’s affair is a moment of weakness. A man’s affair is a moment of hardness.
We’ll See
Two voyeurs are talking: – What are we doing tonight? – Don’t know. We’ll see.
Don’t Call Me at Work
– Why do you never tell me when you finish? – You told me not to call you at work.
The Good News
The doctor: – I have good news and bad news. – Start with the bad. – You’ll be dead within 24 hours. – And the good news? – I slept with your wife last night.
Finishing Together
I wish we could finish together, just once… And what do you want me to do, hire a conductor?
Did you have many guys before me?
Comic: Did you have many guys before me? No, why do you ask? The condom vending machine in your bathroom got me curious.
What’s Your Ring Size?
Author: Twonks
200 Dirty Jokes for Adults (Short, Filthy and Strictly 18+)
200 dirty jokes for adults, hand-picked and sorted: dirty one-liners, marriage, dating, doctors and porn. Short, filthy, strictly 18+.
The Best Revenge
My breakup was so bad that I decided to post some revenge porn. It was naked pictures of myself to show how low my ex-partner’s… Read More »The Best Revenge
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then… Read More »I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings…
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings getting a penis enlargement…I just can’t take it any longer
Snooker rules applied to sex If Red is blocking Pink, go for the…
Snooker rules applied to sex If Red is blocking Pink, go for the Brown.
Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins Sex with…
Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins Sex with Jessica felt great, but Jeremy was a pain in the ass.
When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been…
When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been having the right kind of sex.
discount
Announcement on the clinic website: Breast enlargement. Penis enlargement. Discount available for ordering both.
when you miss the ads
– Dear, turn off the TV. It distracts me when we make love, and I can’t finish! – I can’t, honey, we’re in the cinema.
We’re here with the first man Adam. ” tell us Adam, what do you…
we’re here with the first man Adam. ” tell us Adam, what do you do for fun?” ” I like to play volleyball with Eve… Read More »We’re here with the first man Adam. ” tell us Adam, what do you…
With a sexy smile, she said to me “Kiss me where the sun don’t…
With a sexy smile, she said to me “Kiss me where the sun don’t shine.” …so I booked us two tickets for a December holiday… Read More »With a sexy smile, she said to me “Kiss me where the sun don’t…
Welcome to the handsome club
If no woman gives me sex soon I will take matters into my own hands!
I searched the internet for a Rorschach test but all I found…
I searched the internet for a Rorschach test but all I found were a bunch of drawings of my parents having sex
What do you call a bodybuilder with a large penis?
What do you call a bodybuilder with a large penis? A beginner.
A friend’s mother gave me a Blowjob.
A friend’s mother gave me a Blowjob. I didn’t think I’d be blowing up balloons for his party.
What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek?
What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek? With Hide & Seek I can count to ten before I shout, “I’m coming, ready or… Read More »What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek?
Sexcurity camera
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting He said this is his home security camera
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute?
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There’s a difference?
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re…
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re attached to the number one leading cause of stress.
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today, I will demonstrate how to use a condom”. After he starts eating the… Read More »A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm. Husband: Well this morning if I’m not mistaken. Wife: Yeah in your dreams.Husband: No… Read More »Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.