Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you…
Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you think that is? Her: I’ve learnt how to appreciate the small things in life
Dirty Jokes
Welcome to our dirty jokes collection, more than 400 of the filthiest and funniest adult jokes we could round up in one place. Expect NSFW one-liners, X-rated puns and cheeky gags made for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor. For the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 200 dirty jokes for adults. New dirty jokes get added all the time, so bookmark the page and check back. Strictly 18+ and definitely not one for the family dinner table.
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday I got her a dress 2 sizes smaller with a note “I’m… Read More »So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be saved if putin had normal size dick.
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked How’s your book? Interesting read? She replied: well, the only way I… Read More »A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
Self employed
How is sex like applying for a job Everybody wants experience but you can’t get experience unless you already have experience
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my wife I replied : “Lets have sex then because there are horny men…. basically… Read More »Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
My wife bites her lip to look sexy……….
My wife bites her lip to look sexy………. I just don’t have the heart to tell her you’re meant to bite the bottom lip.
I just watched a beautiful naked woman do stand-up comedy.
I just watched a beautiful naked woman do stand-up comedy. Never laughed so hard in my life.
The wife then has to finish it off herself.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse… Read More »The wife then has to finish it off herself.
Apparently there’s a new sex position called Parcel Force.
Apparently there’s a new sex position called Parcel Force. You stay in all day and no one comes
The three life stages of sex Age 18-35: Tri-Weekly Age 35-60:…
The three life stages of sex Age 18-35: Tri-Weekly Age 35-60: Try Weekly Age 60-90: Try Weakly
Got knocked up the ladder to success
My friend said, “Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?” I replied, “The same way the Virgin Mary got Jesus.” He laughed,… Read More »Got knocked up the ladder to success
I’ve read Masturbation may help prevent the common cold Really…
I’ve read Masturbation may help prevent the common cold Really hope so, I’ve run out of tissues.
whoresome joke
If having sex for money makes you a whore… then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
Christmas presents are like sex It’s always more fun to get them…
Christmas presents are like sex It’s always more fun to get them from other people than to give yourself one.
I buried my best porn in a time capsule.
I buried my best porn in a time capsule. For the generations to come.
Having too much sex can cause memory loss!
Having too much sex can cause memory loss! Oh and also, I can’t remember if I told you guys this but having too much sex… Read More »Having too much sex can cause memory loss!
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“You are the first woman that has ever given me an orgasm,” I told the prostitute. “That’s not true,” she replied. “Of course it is,”… Read More ».,njnm km]
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made…
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in… Read More »A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made…
Two behavioral psychologists have sex.
Two behavioral psychologists have sex. When they finish, one says to the other, “wow, you really enjoyed that! How was it for me?”
Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake
Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
Son: Dad, is there any place in the world where everyone loves…
Son: Dad, is there any place in the world where everyone loves everyone, no matter what their skin color, gender, religion or race is? Father:… Read More »Son: Dad, is there any place in the world where everyone loves…
I went to go to the Vagina Museum but accidentally went in the…
I went to go to the Vagina Museum but accidentally went in the building next door. That place was a shit hole!
I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So…
I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So I went up to him and gave him a dollar. He happily… Read More »I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a dollar So…
Sex is like pizza
Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it
Having sex with me is like microwaving food at 3am..
Having sex with me is like microwaving food at 3am.. The longest minute and a half of your life
I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my…
I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my life until… I swiped right on a blind date, a… Read More »I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my…
Did you know
if you press the Clitoris and the G Spot at the same time, the vagina takes a screenshot and saves you in her memory forever
Front effect
All medicines have side effects. Only Viagra has front effects.