Wal- Matt
A man was in a long line at Wal-Mart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he… Read More »Wal- Matt
Dirty Jokes
Welcome to our dirty jokes collection, more than 400 of the filthiest and funniest adult jokes we could round up in one place. Expect NSFW one-liners, X-rated puns and cheeky gags made for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor. For the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 200 dirty jokes for adults. New dirty jokes get added all the time, so bookmark the page and check back. Strictly 18+ and definitely not one for the family dinner table.
A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
Well, it was an immediate hit.They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend… Read More »A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…
“Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”Of course, the wife agrees and they… Read More »A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…
Screams of passion
in Joke of the Day An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: “Last night I massaged… Read More »Screams of passion
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.One evening, Mildred, age… Read More »Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion
The Italian said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love… Read More »An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion
JOKESTER
We’re looking for someone to eat macaroni and cheese at the end of our bed while we have sex. No weirdos please.
JOKESTER
Wife: “I’ve heard, men start to go deaf, if he takes Viagra often.” Husband: “Who the fuck is Jeff and why is he taking you… Read More »JOKESTER
A 10 year old asks her mum how she was born.
Her mother smiles and answers: A long time ago your dad and I planted some seeds. Your dad pushed them in the ground and I… Read More »A 10 year old asks her mum how she was born.
A farmer
buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the… Read More »A farmer
A teacher asked her students to share what their dads do for a living.
Little Johnny said, “My dad’s a stripper at a gay nightclub and he turns tricks in the alley way to earn extra money.” The teacher… Read More »A teacher asked her students to share what their dads do for a living.
Severe headache for years
> > Severe headache for years A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end. The doctor said, “Joe,… Read More »Severe headache for years
JOKESTER
Her: “Why do men kneel when proposing?” Me: ” They’re talking to the pussy not you…”
JOKESTER
Similarities between Walt Disney and Pornhub. – Hiring adults to act like teens. – Have lots of family issues. – Keep remaking similar content. –… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
We haven’t seen any porn on your phone in a couple of days….you okay? ~NSA
JOKESTER
Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten into the candle business, one of her scents is called “This Smells Like My Vagina”. I’m guessing that the candles are… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
I was showing my grandpa what YouTube was and he said that he couldn’t imagine what his childhood would’ve been like if he had that,… Read More »JOKESTER
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.
While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe.The young man… Read More »A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask him politely.
A farmer asks his wife to tell something that makes him both happy and sad.
His wife replies: You have the biggest dick in the whole village.
What’s the difference between a kiss and anal sex?
A kiss will make your day, but anal will make your hole weak.
People say that Jesus died a virgin
I don’t get it, didn’t he get nailed in the end?
What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A slut sleeps with everyoneA bitch sleeps with everyone except you
JOKESTER
Laughing makes your vagina tighter, so maybe you should stop scrolling past my jokes, loosey goosey.
there is love without sex, and there is sex without love.
and then there’s you, without both.
I walked in on my grandma sucking my grandpa’s dick.
I have no idea why it wasn’t cremated with the rest of him!
TIL pidgins die after sex
At least the one I fucked did!
Sex After Death
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear… Read More »Sex After Death
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tire and call it a ‘Good Year’.