The average person has sex 54 times a year…
Tomorrow is gonna be wild!
Dirty Jokes
Welcome to our dirty jokes collection, more than 400 of the filthiest and funniest adult jokes we could round up in one place. Expect NSFW one-liners, X-rated puns and cheeky gags made for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor. For the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 200 dirty jokes for adults. New dirty jokes get added all the time, so bookmark the page and check back. Strictly 18+ and definitely not one for the family dinner table.
Why did the condom fly across the room??
It got pissed off!
My wife and I are into S & M
She sleeps and I masturbate.
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
That means I have one up on history’s greatest scientific genius.Because I’m not dead.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number…
She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight. I said, “Wow” Then her friend said, She means 666-3629.
Yo mama…
Your mother jerks off pigs. She gets down on her knees and crawls through the pigpiss mud slop and snuggles up to the pig, her… Read More »Yo mama…
I think my dick got more humour than me
Everytime i unzip my pants my girl start laughing
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.””What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if… Read More »A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
My 17 year old brother told me this joke.
Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA?…God couldn’t find a virgin and 3 wise men.
What’s the difference between a gross bus station and a lobster with big boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean.
A guy is on the bus and sees a beautiful nun.
Wanting to bang her, he walks up to her and says “wanna bang?” To which the nun replies “hell no” and proceeded to get off… Read More »A guy is on the bus and sees a beautiful nun.
The curse of breaking a beer bottle, mirror and a condom
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck!Condom:… Read More »The curse of breaking a beer bottle, mirror and a condom
If they call sex with three people a threesome and sex with four people a foursome…
then I see why they call you handsome!
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in… Read More »A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
JOKESTER
Cum is just your dick vomiting from motion sickness.
Before the swordfight could begin, one big ferocious knight displays a gigantic sword to his opponent, an unarmed midget-knight, and laughs at him
The midget knight doesn’t seem to be frightened and proceeds to be in the position to fight. The big knight lunges towards him and gets… Read More »Before the swordfight could begin, one big ferocious knight displays a gigantic sword to his opponent, an unarmed midget-knight, and laughs at him
Apple breast implants
Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your… Read More »Apple breast implants
The first time
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.… Read More »The first time
[Original Joke] this joke is
This joke is courtesy of my 2 days fetus. He/she telepathically told me the joke 2 days ago. It goes like thisfetus: what do you… Read More »[Original Joke] this joke is
You’d think anybody being given a multi-storey car park in the CBD would be cock-a-hoop but no, not Mariah Carey…
She told him repeatedly she didn’t want a lot for Christmas.
One day Saint Peter got bored
He decided to begin asking people how they died. A man comes up so saint Peter asked how he died. The man said “I was… Read More »One day Saint Peter got bored
Life is unfair to English teacher released from jail after serving 5 years for sex with 16 year old boy who is in love with her
The judge has ruled that sentence cannot end with a proposition.
I went to the chemist today and asked for a box of condoms
The girl serving asked me if I wanted a bag with it .I said, “No thanks, she’s actually quite pretty.”
A mom shows her son a picture that she took of him
He says “That’s amazing! How did you create it, did you use your cellphone camera?” To which she replies “No, it was just sex”
A man was out hunting one day..
He had all the gear, the jacket the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and… Read More »A man was out hunting one day..
A man suspected his wife of cheating on him. (A long one, but a good one)
He suspected his wife was having an affair and cheating on him during her lunch hour at work. One day, he decided to leave work… Read More »A man suspected his wife of cheating on him. (A long one, but a good one)
I once took a viagra to see what the experience would be like.
Unfortunately it got stuck in my throat and my neck was stiff for hours.
Just found out “cock fighting” is done with chickens…
12 months of training wasted
Somewhere in Siberia
Note: translated from another language(dirty)LongSiberia, it’s super cold,freezing, a man is crawling, struggling hard, he’s on a verge of death. Suddenly he sees a light… Read More »Somewhere in Siberia