Joe’s Headaches

Joe is being plagued by terrible headaches.One day,after years of suffering,he decides to see a headache specialist.The doctor tells Joe to strip ,inspects him all over and announces that he has found the cause of the headaches.”Your testicles are pressing against the base of your spine” says the doctor “The pressure builds up and you get an excruciating headache”. Joe is appalled.”Is there anything I can do about it?”He asks.” “I’m afraid I have bad news.I have to get rid of the testicles”answers the doctor. Joe considers the pros and cons of a life without balls and sex.But then he thinks about the agony of his daily headaches and goes for the snip He comes round from the operation and leaves the hospital.Walking down the street he smiles as he realises that his headaches are gone.To celebrate,He decides to treat himself to some new clothes.He makes his way to a top tailors.Inside the tailor’s he asks to see a pair of pants.The tailor looks at Joe and says”You’ll need a 36 inch waist,33 inch inside leg.” Joe is amazed at the accuracy of the tailor and he asks for a shirt”That’ll be a 42 inch chest and a 16 inch neck.”The tailor says.Joe is once again stunned by his accuracy.Finally all that is left to buy is a pair of underpants.”36?” asks the tailor. “No sorry I’m a 34 “says”Joe”I have worn a 34 since I was 18.” This is not possible” frowns the tailor”If a man of your size wore a size 34,the underwear would press his testicles into the base of his spine causing the most horrific headaches”

Nothing like a nice cold beer after a nice cold beer.

September 17

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A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it. A genie pops out “you have two wishes” The guy says “hold up, aren’t I supposed to get three wishes?” the genie replies “Check your pants” The guy looks down his pants, and slightly surprised, says “how did you know?” Genie says “I’ve been […]

September 17

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Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password: “VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento” When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital.”

September 17

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Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking. I went into the fridge the next day and grabbed a beer Cause I’m not going to listen to a fucking drunk talking to themselves.

September 16

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My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am…… ….. an Ice Cube

September 16

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My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all those letters I’d been hiding. She got really mad and said she’s never going to play Scrabble with me again.

September 15

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Sex is like pizza

Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it

September 15

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I’m really not worried about anti-vaxxers….. It’s a dying movement.

September 14

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What small thing screams “I’m rich”? A dwarf who just won the lottery.

September 12

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A man walks into a bar…

The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.” The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.” The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?” […]

September 12

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