My girlfriend changed when she became a vegetarian
Its like I had never seen herbivore
Dating Jokes
Dating jokes for the hopeful, the hopeless and everyone swiping in between. From first-date disasters to hilarious pickup lines and the mysteries of modern romance, these funny dating jokes will have you laughing instead of crying at your love life. Single or taken, there is something here for you.
A boy and a girl were best friends since they were kids
They used to play with wooden toy pirates after school, using ventilation shafts in each others’ houses as their place to get away from their… Read More »A boy and a girl were best friends since they were kids
Girlfriend of two years broke up with me this fall, I was devastated. Then I realized…
I had 2 fall to lose it allBut in the end it doesn’t even matter…
My ex is upset that I tell people she performs multiple handjobs every day for £5 a pop…
Apparently, the proper description for her job is “manicurist,”
Yo mama’s so fat
I took me all four fingers to swipe left in tinder.
I don’t have a girlfriend
But I know someone who would be angry if they heard me say that.
Me: Mom meet my girlfriend.
Mom: You sure about this? I think you deserve better.Me: But mom, I love her so much!Mom: I’m talking to her.
My girlfriend, Serenity, asked me to guess her overweight sister’s name
Her other sisters name was Charity, so it was obvious to me what her the overweight sisters name would be Update: My girlfriend is yelling… Read More »My girlfriend, Serenity, asked me to guess her overweight sister’s name
My girlfriend said we need to spend more quality time together.
So I bought her a tea set and a koala and said wtf are we supposed to do now?
My girlfriend asked me if I’d like a threesome, and who out of her friends I would pick
Apparently I was only supposed to name one, not two
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
Dating sites are so dumb and a bad way to find someone to date.
I know I sound like a boomer “oh technology” but I’m a huge supporter of social media to socialize except when it comes to dating… Read More »Dating sites are so dumb and a bad way to find someone to date.
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale from 1-10.
Last night, we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That’s the best I’ve ever done.
What did the melon say to his daughter when he caught her running off with her boyfriend?
You’re too young, you cantaloupe!
Palette Cleanser
The first time Charlie ate dinner with his girlfriend’s family, her mom prepared a huge pot of soup for the whole family. The dad, mom,… Read More »Palette Cleanser
I have a girlfriend,
She just exists in the solution to x^2 +1=0
My girlfriend told me she’s going to be a great comedian one day
She said every time we have sex a joke comes to her
How to get laid for free without the trouble of dating…
..Start working at the mortuary like me.
A girlfriend is feeling like a stranger
A girl named Amanda has been dating a boy called Bill for 6 years. Amanda has been anticipating a marriage proposal from Bill ever since… Read More »A girlfriend is feeling like a stranger
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had something stuck between her teeth!
It was my best friend Dave.
My girlfriend’s roommate wouldn’t let me redo their bathroom tiles.
What a caulk block.
I asked my girlfriend if she would like to go out with her friends on Saturday to get a couple of pairs of new shoes, get your hair done in a different style, then go out for a couple of rounds of Chardonnay.
“That sounds great!”“Good, because we are breaking up.”-Jimmy Carr
JOKESTER
Girlfriend: I’m going to leave you if you don’t stop wearing different clothes every hour. Me: Wait pleeeease ‼‼ l can change.
JOKESTER
I saw my Ex wife yesterday, she was at the other end of the Museum from me. I would have said hello, but there was… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
I went on a blind date with a woman, whose online profile said she had a “infectious smile.” She was fu***ng suffering from Herpes. ???
My girlfriend has no interest in my personality, has no desire…
My girlfriend has no interest in my personality, has no desire to ever get to know the ‘real’ me and her only goal in life… Read More »My girlfriend has no interest in my personality, has no desire…
Hope so
My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie: ‘Every exit is an entrance to a new experience’ “Wow” she said, “are you thinking what… Read More »Hope so
Difference
“I’ve got a boyfriend,” is a woman’s’s way of saying fuck off and leave me alone. “I’ve got a girlfriend,” is a man’s way of… Read More »Difference