Boobs are like the sun
You can only stare at ‘em for a very short time. But if you wear sunglasses, you can stare at ‘em as much as you… Read More »Boobs are like the sun
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Onion rings are Vegetarian donuts
Onion rings are Vegetarian donuts
Tequila: Liquid that won’t change your life but it’s worth a shot.
Tequila: Liquid that won’t change your life but it’s worth a shot.
I exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what the…
I exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what the hell I’m doing
I opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time- I…
I opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time- I was shocked!!
I needed a password eight characters long.
I needed a password eight characters long. I went with SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves
Washington DC doesn’t need metal detectors, it needs lie detectors.
Washington DC doesn’t need metal detectors, it needs lie detectors.
I don’t know why my fishing buddy is afraid of coronavirus…he…
I don’t know why my fishing buddy is afraid of coronavirus…he never catches anything.
Women never have to apologize, they just sleep naked and let the…
Women never have to apologize, they just sleep naked and let the guy decide if he’s still mad or not…
I’d be a terrible couple’s therapist.
I’d be a terrible couple’s therapist. I’d be like, “have you tried anal?”
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building…
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy…
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.
2020 is still better than my first marriage
2020 is still better than my first marriage
Horrific
It would be horrific if farting was as contagious as yawning.
Stay safe
I read that Covid-19 hasn’t affected the Amish community, it’s probably because they don’t have TV or social media.
Life lesson
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way for the neighbors to pay and build a privacy fence.
Problems solved
Fall in love with your problems, maybe they’ll leave you too.
Only the…
Anal Sex: The only time a man tries to convince you his dick really isn’t that big
Frank Einstein
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?
Hand made
A baby that came from a sperm bank is basically ‘hand made.’
Choice
Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Great choice
Scary times
Those are some scary times to call sick at work. They may put you and everybody else in quarantine
Continually
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party, that you do not attend
No balls
I went to a bar full of lesbians…even the pool table didn’t have any balls !
Coronavirus jokes cured my depression due to quarantine.
Coronavirus jokes cured my depression due to quarantine.
Waiting
religion is waiting for corona to end. so they can get back to performing miracles and healing the sick
JOKESTER
Life is short, if you can’t laugh at yourself call me, I will.
At the same time
I knew a guy who had a massive heart attack during sex. He came and went at the same time.