A buddy once asked me if I’ve ever stuck it in her, you know, “other hole”.
I said that’s dumb because she might get pregnant.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Next year, I’m moving to Greenwich, England
I don’t know what I’m going to do in the mean time
A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”
“Sweet!”, he replied. “I won $20. Here’s $10. Now bugger off.”
I’m going to open a restaurant called “I don’t care”
That way I can finally go to that place my girlfriend is always talking about.
When is the best time to commit suicide?
Ate a glock in the morning.
Why did the transgender person disappear after they gave birth?
They became transparent.
If the price of oil goes any lower
Exxon Mobil might have to lay off some members of Congress
I just learned how to lock pick
Its opened so many doors for me
I told my friends ten puns to try to make them laugh
But no pun in ten did
JOKESTER
This Stay at Home shit needs to end soon, today I took a nap simply to stop eating.
JOKESTER
“Head & Shoulders” for guys it’s a shampoo. For fat chicks, a selfie.
JOKESTER
Having a Playboy magazine to just read the articles is like watching the Superbowl just for the football ?
JOKESTER
The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate when talking to women.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous
JOKESTER
Somebody missed the perfect opportunity to name this Chinese Corona Virus the Kung Flu ?
JOKESTER
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
JOKESTER
You know it’s time to clean the fridge when something closes the door from the inside.
Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said, “I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha.”
So, “20 x 0 = 0.”I don’t know what’s funny!
Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?
Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.
I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers…
Like you don’t see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti…
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
A thief broke into my house
He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him
Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for
He said “Genius”
Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet
Because he spent years at C
Two psychics bump into each other walking down the street…
One says to the other “You’re doing alright, how am I?”
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he open it
Want to know a job that isn’t doing very well right now
Archeology it’s in ruins!