I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do…
I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do all day 🧐
One-Liners
The best one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning .
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning . Pissed it away !
WARNING!
WARNING! Alec Baldwin has arrived in the UK and due to start shooting soon.
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just…
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just likes my company.
She got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she…
she got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she answered with ” probably failing my drivers test “
nice wish
I wish you a happy New Year and for it to finally start looking like your photos on Instagram!
My money
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
The reason so many guys have foot fetishes is because they lost…
The reason so many guys have foot fetishes is because they lost their virginity to a sock.
Alcohol?
Alright… Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?
It’s Sunday.
It’s Sunday. So am 100% motivated to do nothing today.