One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

I needed a password eight characters long.

I needed a password eight characters long. I went with SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves

Washington DC doesn’t need metal detectors, it needs lie detectors.

I don’t know why my fishing buddy is afraid of coronavirus…he never catches anything.

Women never have to apologize, they just sleep naked and let the guy decide if he’s still mad or not…

I’d be a terrible couple’s therapist. I’d be like, “have you tried anal?”

My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz

How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!

My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.

2020 is still better than my first marriage

It would be horrific if farting was as contagious as yawning.