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Food Jokes

Food jokes and kitchen humor served fresh and funny. From cheesy puns to hungry gags about pizza, coffee and everything on the menu, this collection is a full plate of laughs. Warning: reading these funny food jokes on an empty stomach may cause both hunger and giggles.

not bad

I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?

long time

Took the wife out for dinner last night & I was just about to order the steak when she said, “Why don’t you try something… Read More »long time

mirror

im at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life….as a matter of fact i put a mirror above… Read More »mirror

strange

A buddy of mine told me he found himself in a strange place after his divorce. He was standing in his kitchen.

without

Valentine’s Day is just a massive hassle bruh. I need to: 1. Remember to text my girlfriend a long lovey dovey message at the beginning… Read More »without

downside

I was making a sandwich when I thought to myself, “So, there is a downside to divorce”.

good signal

Just as I was thinking that technology ruined the art of conversation, my date looked up at me and smiled. “This is a fantastic restaurant,”… Read More »good signal

prank

As I bent down on one knee in the expensive restaurant my girlfriend starting crying and screaming “Yes!” As I picked up my phone from… Read More »prank

real psych

I called the psychic hotline by mistake tonight. A woman answered and said, “Don’t worry, your pizza is on its way.”

first instruction

The first cooking instruction on food packaging should be “Don’t throw out box until after reading all instructions.”

password

* At A Restaurant* Waiter; What Would You Like? Me: The WiFi Password……

feelings

Men have feelings too. For example, right now I feel hungry. So go make me a sandwich before I feel angry! I’ll need my energy… Read More »feelings

almost cooking

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The recipe might be easy, but a reservation is easier.

solved

When my wife picks a restaurant that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”.Problem solved.

BBQ rules

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity… Read More »BBQ rules

not enough

Excuse me waiter, I’d like to return my food. It only received 10 likes on Instagram.

missing

Husband throws darts at wife’s photo but not a single one hits the target. Wife from kitchen, “honey, what are you doing?” Husband, “Missing you… Read More »missing

Michelle

Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.

bacon

I looked at my girlfriend ,who was sitting next to me, and I thought to myself, “My God, what a beauty! What a woman! True… Read More »bacon

well done

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,”… Read More »well done

salesman

I sell security alarms door to door, and I’m really good at it. I mean if they aren’t home…. I just leave a brochure on… Read More »salesman

Michelle

Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.

pills

My wife said “get some of those pills that help you get an erection”, should have seen her face when I tossed her the diet… Read More »pills

last meal

I’m having a relaxing bath and I think my girlfriend is making me a sandwich! YES! I assume anyways since she’s bringing the toaster into… Read More »last meal

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