A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half then leave you.”
“Sweet!”, he replied. “I won $20. Here’s $10. Now bugger off.”
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
I’m going to open a restaurant called “I don’t care”
That way I can finally go to that place my girlfriend is always talking about.
When is the best time to commit suicide?
Ate a glock in the morning.
Why did the transgender person disappear after they gave birth?
They became transparent.
If the price of oil goes any lower
Exxon Mobil might have to lay off some members of Congress
I just learned how to lock pick
Its opened so many doors for me
I told my friends ten puns to try to make them laugh
But no pun in ten did
JOKESTER
This Stay at Home shit needs to end soon, today I took a nap simply to stop eating.
JOKESTER
“Head & Shoulders” for guys it’s a shampoo. For fat chicks, a selfie.