One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

JOKESTER

l got bored staying in with this lockdown, so for something to do l measured my dick…. now l’m bored & depressed.

Most bars in the world are closed right now

We’re looking for someone to eat macaroni and cheese at the end of our bed while we have sex. No weirdos please.

I must admit, I really miss being at work and bitching about not wanting to be at work.

The only person who listens to both sides of an argument is the next door neighbor….

I’ll bet in the future y’all are going to have 2nd thoughts before saying “I hope this weekend lasts forever”.

I don’t think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, that we’d go from Standard Time to the fucking Twilight Zone

They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

Yeah, I gave ’em my too weak notice

It doesn’t pay much, but the tips are huge!