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One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
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What do you call it when a cow pleasures himself?
Some say MOOsterbation, but I’ve always been partial to Beef Strokinoff.
If they call sex with three people a threesome and sex with four people a foursome…
then I see why they call you handsome!
What is the most fiscally responsible religion?
Christianity… because Jesus saves
Finn, ex-stormtrooper, Resistance hero, walks into a bar
The bartender sees him, rolls his eyes, and grunts, “It’s FN 2187.”
Why don’t Switzerland’s cars have brakes?
Because their always on neutral.
A doctor told his patient
“Sir, I’m afraid to tell you that your DNA has been completely reversed”The guy said “ok, and?”
The first people to invest themselves in Apple
were Adam and Eve
Marvel joke
Q:What do you call the security guard at a Samsung store?A: The guardians of the galaxy!
Heard about that new band called 1023 MB?
They haven’t had any gigs yet.
GUYS, I’M NOT GAY OR ANYTHING BUT I FOUND A REALLY HOT STUD.
A house in my town caught fire.
Why did the toilet paper not successfully cross the road?
He got stuck in a crack
If the Pope doesn’t feel like going to church…
…does he just send a mass text?
There are only two types of people
Right handed and Wrong handed
Bonjour
And do you know any other words in French?Well Oui, but actually non.
What’s the difference between a…
Fish and a piano?You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna