Which Witcher character knows the answers to all quiz questions?
Geralt of Trivia
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
I remember as a child, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come…
Then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Soooo my 4 year old nephew just told me this. He’s a little nerd but it made me chuckle. Knock knock…
Who’s there?Cows go.Cows go who?No idiot… Cows go moo!
Last night i used Vaseline with my wife and came 10 times
Once with her and 9 in the shower trying to wash it off
I gave my daughter a watch for Christmas. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, “That’s a pretty watch you’ve got there! Does it tell you the time?”
She laughed and said, “No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!”
Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they make the toys.
A man wanders back home at 3:00 am.
His wife: You are late.You said you would be home by 11:45 pm.Man:(Casually) I said i would be home by a quarter of 12.
Teacher: “Class, today we are going to Bangladesh.”
Kid named Ladesh: wha…
Im giving up drinking for a year
Whoops, that came out wrongIm giving up, drinking for a year.
Granma dances better than everyone. (Now with actual pixels.)
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What is this bug?
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What do you call it when a cow pleasures himself?
Some say MOOsterbation, but I’ve always been partial to Beef Strokinoff.
If they call sex with three people a threesome and sex with four people a foursome…
then I see why they call you handsome!
What is the most fiscally responsible religion?
Christianity… because Jesus saves
Finn, ex-stormtrooper, Resistance hero, walks into a bar
The bartender sees him, rolls his eyes, and grunts, “It’s FN 2187.”
Why don’t Switzerland’s cars have brakes?
Because their always on neutral.
A doctor told his patient
“Sir, I’m afraid to tell you that your DNA has been completely reversed”The guy said “ok, and?”
The first people to invest themselves in Apple
were Adam and Eve