What’s the difference between a…
Fish and a piano?You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
A politician and intestines are surprisingly similar
After all. They both have shit coming out of them
What is a Nascar driver’s favorite kind of war?
It’s a Race War
A caveman saw a pterodactyl for the first time.
Caveman : Look at that dino soar!
iSpoofer direct install link is back up
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Walmart caught me stealing a shopping cart full of merchandise.
They told me to rollback the savings.
iSpoofer direct install link is back up
https://www.ispoofer.com/ispoofer-for-pogo-installation/
What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?
You’d think it’s the R, but it must be the C.EDIT: Works much better if you read the punchline in a pirate accent.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa!
I care about how girls feel.
The firmer the better.
I always cook with with vegetable oil.
It was a Wesson I learned long ago.
When you meet new people, be sure to use alot of big words…
that way you will sound, photosynthesis.my nephew told me this today, said he made it up.
If you had to choose one body part to smell . . .
Would you pick your nose ?
What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?
EDIT: wow this really blew up thanks for gold
Today I heard the one about the hungry clock
It went back four seconds
Does anybody know the old names of the streets in Jamaica Queens?
I used to shop on 165th Street but always wanted to know the original name of it, for instance.
How can you distinguish between a hospital and a military base?
Frankly I’m not sure – I’m just a drone pilot.
I go to the gym religiously…
ya know twice a year when my family starts bugging me to go
My girlfriend accused me of gaslighting her.
I told her she’s crazy, there’s no such thing as gaslighting.
6 six years ago I made a new year’s resolution, and I have never broken it.
“No more New year’s resolutions”
What’s a goats favorite song?
Baaaaaad guy. By Billie Eilish
I really love the ticking of old clocks
My psychiatrist calls it a second hand emotion.
Scientists did a study on Metamucil.
Turns out it really is the best shit in the world.
I hate when women state that men can’t multitask
And then I stop what I’m doing so I can get angry