Trump: Hey Siri how many miles did I ran today?
Siri: Ok, Sending missiles to Iran today.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Nobody knew who the Iranian general was a few days ago…
He just kinda blew up
I made a quick drawing of a dark alleyway yesterday.
It’s a very sketchy place.
Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
All the DNA matches and there’s no dental records.
A Mexican Magician…
…told his audience he’d disappear on the count of three.He began counting “Uno, dos…”And he disappeared without a tres.
Commas can really change the meaning in a sentence.
For example: Ben is in a hurry. Vs Ben is in a coma
Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?
Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.
A Roman walks into a bar, Holds up 2 fingers, and says
“5 beers please”
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop pointing out random exits and entrances
I said: “There’s the door”
I got kicked in the nuts at Midnight on New Years.
I started the year off on the highest note possible.