I once took a viagra to see what the experience would be like.
Unfortunately it got stuck in my throat and my neck was stiff for hours.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Just found out “cock fighting” is done with chickens…
12 months of training wasted
Back when he was with us, seldom did Jesus go to the toilet
But when he did, holy shit!
My English wife and I were arguing over the pronunciation of inventory
She: it’s INVENT-ryMe: no it’s inven-TORYShe: I ain’t having no Tories in my mouth.
A bunch of toilets walk into a bar,
and then shit got wild
There are two types of people in this world
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
I once heard a terrible joke about Amazon
It was ruined by the delivery
My bud Ellis, perhaps, made me piss myself. Perhaps. Perhaps…
How do check if someone’s dead? Tickle the taint.
Why couldn’t the gay man date the line?
Because it’s a line. You can’t date a line. 🙂
A Diabetic Pimp
He’s pimping those hoes to keep his toes.-my brother
There is exactly one POC in the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
They needed a tolkein black guy.
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That’s the best I’ve ever done.
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Why did David Carradine get so many girls
He was well hung
Trump has been impeached
Now it’s the Senate’s job to find out how he got in there
My uncle always dresses up in the worst Halloween costumes. So we were relieved when he said he was going to be a Muppet this year.
He was naked with an arm up his butt.
Why does Eobard Thawne love Big Belly Burger so much?
Because it’s fast food
Why doesn’t anybody get offended by Irish jokes?
Because they are ALL TRUE!edit: my dead Irish dad told me that one
What do you call eating ass while you’re both drunk?
Getting shitfaced.
Which weighs more, water or butane?
Water, because butane is a lighter fluid
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They say everything looks bigger when you’re a kid…
I knew my uncle’s dick wasn’t that huge
What did the band director say to his students
This room is for staff only
Sex jokes really suck
But they don’t swallow
A cop cought me doing donuts in the parking lot.
It was sad. Donuts was always such a good dog.
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You: What’s wrong? Girlfriend: Nothing…
I just think it’s funny how you [X reason].You: Haha. I think it’s funny too.100% end an argument. No problem ezpz!
Some are heterosexual, some are homosexual, some are bi sexual but i am try-sexual
I’ve been trying my entire life