“I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire wikipedia.”
“Wait, I can explain everything!”
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
What do Melania and the Donald have in common?
They’re both fucking stupid.
If I put self raising flour on it…
Does that mean I still have to pay child support?
I hit a new high today, but my wife tells me that it’s actually the lowest I’ve ever been.
Turns out substance abuse isn’t a joke.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm
”two beers, ” he says ”one for me, and one for the road.”
What’s the difference between choking fetish and necrophilia?
About 15 seconds
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask him politely.
I punched a woman in the tit once
She had no mammary of the event.
I confronted my Gardner about him masterbating in my garden…
Instead of giving me a straight answer he started beating around the bush.
Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I immediately throw half of them in the trash.
I don’t want unlucky people working in our department.