Hardangervidda, Norway
r/pics•Posted byu/SimenGjelsvik3 hours ago-25°C on a crystal clear morning at Hardangervidda, Norway [OC] 87 points9 comments
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and a Whiskey Connoisseur?
Only one thinks it gets better with age.
My neighbor is a 90 year old with alzheimer’s, I see him every morning and he asks me If I’ve seen his wife. Everyday I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
If someone can explain to me why my stuff constantly gets stolen..
My door is always open.
Glass Coffins
Will they be popular?Remains to be seen
I’ve been secretly injecting soap into my balls to see if I can jizz bubbles.
It’s time for me to come clean.
I met a guy who was convinced that there were no words in the English language with more syllables than vowels….
I tried to explain to him that he was wrong, but he refused to accept criticism.
I went to the grocery store.
The sign said “No food or drinks inside”So I went home.
I tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbor
… but he said he had naan.
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
That means I have one up on history’s greatest scientific genius.Because I’m not dead.
A politician uses statistics like a drunk uses a street light.
For support, rather than illumination.
So I hear the Hulk’s believing in Muhammad nowadays…
Now he’s gone from “Hulk Smash” to “I Slam”.
“How old is your girlfriend?”
“She’s 52”“Haha, dude, she could be your mom!”“Yeah, actually it’s yours.”
A female janitor at my building asked me if i wanted to smoke some weed with her.
I politely declined- I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said anything racist,
A black mothafucka would’ve probably stolen from me
Has anyone ever gotten a response about the God paradox?
Basically,Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that it cannot lift it?Some other versions of it are like:whether God could create a triangle… Read More »Has anyone ever gotten a response about the God paradox?
Don’t be too harsh on people who are constantly taking selfies.
They are just trying to save face.
A man goes into his bosses office
Man: I was just checking in to see if I could get the day off to help my wife do the yearly christmas cleaning?Boss: Absolutely… Read More »A man goes into his bosses office
A vegan once told me…..
A vegan once told me that eating meat was gross….. I then replied a man who sells fruit and vegetables is grocer.
One supposedly goes to Heaven for treating others well. Then God sends some of those “others” to Hell, you know, as He would if He wanted them treated well.
That’s why I have a furnace in my basement. I just throw people in. Doin the Lord’s work.Others believe you go to Heaven simply by… Read More »One supposedly goes to Heaven for treating others well. Then God sends some of those “others” to Hell, you know, as He would if He wanted them treated well.
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox?
Edit: Wow! This Blew Up! Thanks for the Gold!
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people
But none of them work
The medical code of ethics is way too strict. Apparently, I’m not allowed to marry a patient even if we’re in a consensual relationship.
I’m really starting to hate being a veterinarian.
A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes up with a “breakfast for champions” in front of him, and he is like… what???…
A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes… Read More »A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes up with a “breakfast for champions” in front of him, and he is like… what???…
Couples Counsellor: So, what brings you here today?
My wife: I can’t stand it any more. He’s too literal.Me: My truck.
If you’re here for yodeling lessons please form an
Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
The opposite of Microsoft Office is…
Macrohard Onfire.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number…
She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight. I said, “Wow” Then her friend said, She means 666-3629.
I was kidnapped by some mimes 4 years ago today
The things they did to me were just unspeakable