I once knew twins who were exactly alike except one was missing an eye.
They were dentical twins.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
What does a chatty caterpillar become?
A social butterfly
A guy named Danny walks into a bar…
A guy named Danny walks into a bar, tells the bartender to get him four shots of the highest proof he has, and says, “I… Read More »A guy named Danny walks into a bar…
How do secured credit cards work?
So I’ve got crap credit (552), with 1 item in collections ($137). No payment history, no credit cards, and no age of credit history. I… Read More »How do secured credit cards work?
Con is the opposite of pro.
So is congress the opposite of progress?
The ice cream parlor asks for my order
Parlor: “Hello Sir, can I take your order?”Me: “Yes, I’d like a male hot fudge sundae please.”Parlor: “I’m sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?”Me:… Read More »The ice cream parlor asks for my order
What kind of doctor is Dr. pepper?
It’s a fizzician!I’ll see myself out
I designed a car, it is good, but it can not go backwards.
I guess i am not that good at reverse engineering
It was 10 years ago today that my best buddy Dave came running out of the room shouting “ it’s a boy!” with tears tears streaming down his face….
….We never went back to Thailand since!
Its a boy! its a boy! my friend David ran into my room,tears in his eyes
That was the last time he visited Thailand
Need help with cids quests
I recently found out that you can upgrade the engine blade, and I accepted cid’s first quest, already having the rusted bit. Now I can’t… Read More »Need help with cids quests
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don’t know, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a grenade?
Grenade actually accomplish something when it triggers.EDIT : NOT FROM USA NOR WHITE
My wife made us late and we missed the previews before new movie Cats…
…I hate when she makes me miss the best part of movies
I want to die like my grandfather, sleeping calmly.
Not like the passengers on his bus, screaming intensely.
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson
please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
My buddy wrote a comedy routine about menorahs.
It was just a bunch of candle shtick.
I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee “Do you have any books by Shakespeare?”
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?Me: William.
What do you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Wales?
The local sports centre
What’s the difference between a coyote and a flea?
One howls one the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy
Yesterday a bought a pair if shoes from a drug dealer.
Don’t know what he laced them with ’cause I’ve been tripping all day
My dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex.
We laughed about it for a while. Then I remembered me and my wife have different dentists.
I experienced the WORST customer service yesterday at a shop.
I don’t want to mention the name of the shop because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed. On Wednesday I bought something from… Read More »I experienced the WORST customer service yesterday at a shop.
When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma
Unfortunatley, I didn’t impress anyone at the cremation…
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
Ones a heated yam, and the other’s a yeeted ham.
A cop pulls over a car with two priestS. The cop goes over to the car and says “We’re looking for two child molesters.”
The priests look at each other for a moment and reply, “We’ll do it.”
Some people take Christmas way too serious…
It’s 362 days away and people already have their decorations up!
Reddit should rename ‘share’ to ‘spreddit’, ‘delete’ to ‘shreddit’ and ‘karma’ to ‘creddit’.
Wait, what do you mean someone already seddit?
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
“I give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total” says the Genie. The Irishman says “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman,… Read More »An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”
The teller is a little taken aback by the customer’s language, but does her best to be professional.”Sir, I’m more than happy to help with… Read More »Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”