“Благодарение на Google Captcha хората започнаха по-добре да различават светофарите и пътните знаци.”
Децата гледат Discovery – канал за саваната, цитирам: “Много индивиди веднъж годишно се събират на едно място за най-ценната възможност да се напият.” Почти се задавих … спомняйки си корпоративното парти.
My asshole of a boss just yelled at me in front of everyone for eating chips at work. “John, you’re a fucking croupier!”
20-years together and the Missus still gets upset if I use her toothbrush…. So, if anyone knows another way to get dog shit off my trainers, I’m all ears.
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my money and now I am being arrested.
The fun part about your 50’s is waking up thinking you’re hungover but then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now…
I’d like to see the guy who invented beer and ask him what’s he working on now.
Life insurance in a nutshell… The insurance agent is betting that you live, you’re betting that you die… and you hope that he wins.
Me: “When we were little, my brothers and I used to play Russian roulette.” Friend: “You don’t have any brothers.” Me: “Right.”
still to come
A smart home is when it connects to the neighbour’s Wi-Fi at night and secretly mines cryptocurrency to pay for its own mortgage.
Agents of special services who were caught in infidelity by their wives are discharged from work due to unsuitability.
I’m going through a lot right now. Mostly because my car brakes stopped working.
Every time someone over 40 complains about my generation, I wish I could earn a dollar. That way, I could buy a house in the economy they created.
Checking election results is like checking a group project grade. I did my best, but I can’t help but worry about the rest of the team messing it up.
A young boy approaches God and asks, “Is it true that a billion years is just a second to you?” God answers, “Yes.” The boy then inquires, “Is it also true that a billion dollars is worth just a penny to you?” God again confirms, “Yes.” Excited, the boy asks, “Can I have a penny […]
we’re here with the first man Adam. ” tell us Adam, what do you do for fun?” ” I like to play volleyball with Eve and watch her boobs bounce up and down ! “
Due to Inflation, the Five Second Rule has been extended to Ten Seconds.
With a sexy smile, she said to me “Kiss me where the sun don’t shine.” …so I booked us two tickets for a December holiday in northern Norway.
If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach? Trigonometry. There’s a lot of sin involved.
Welcome to the handsome club
If no woman gives me sex soon I will take matters into my own hands!