Fun jokes



“No shit!” is what the doctor replied when I told him I was constipated.



*creates alcohol brand and names it Yoga*
I used to be so sressed until I started yoga.



Did you hear about the man who was raped by a sex robot in an aisle of Home Depot?

All he asked for was a machine screw



Today I shopped at a roadside stand that said lobster tails for $2
So I paid my bucks and the guy said “Once upon a time there was a lobster”…..



God: Adam, Eve, you 2 are to love each other for ever.

Adam: OK, but who’s that dude over there?

God: oh, that’s Keith Richards, he was here when I got here.



Me: You are my drug.
Her: Aww, you can’t live without me?
Me: No, you cost too fucking much and ruin my life.



By legalizing Cannabis and same sex marriage, we are finally interpreting the Bible correctly.

“A man who lays with another man, should be stoned.”




If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you better seek professional help.



Boss: I hope you didn’t think about work while you were on vacation.
Me: I don’t even think about it when I’m here.



Interviewer: The only experience you put on your application is lifeguard. We looking for someone to sell insurance. Why should l hire you?
Me : l can’t swim.
Interviewer : You’re hired