I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do I smoke? I said why was that your first question?He said, it wasn’t.
A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to examine her, he says, “Relax, you are about to feel a little numbness.” “What do you mean?” asks the woman. The doctor puts his head in between her legs and…
I entered a competion for kleptomaniacs. I took first prize…and second prize, and third prize, and a couple of unattended handbags…
A new teacher joins a school. She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance. The teacher asks: Twins…? Boys: No, we are neighbours!
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
I remember when I received my first headphones… … it was music to my ears.
2021: The Russian army is the second strongest army in the world.2022: The Russian army is the second strongest army in Ukraine.2023: The Russian army is the second strongest army in Russia.
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”
Me – This escape room sucks 😒Nurse – Sir, this is a psych ward
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings getting a penis enlargement…I just can’t take it any longer