Fun jokes

Niagra

The makers of Viagra have announced that they’ve developed a pill to increase the wetness in women…
The pill will be called Niagra.

Tip

Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her to calm down, she’ll realize that she’s overreacting and she’ll thank you.

Follow me for more helpful tips.

Meeting after long time

A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!”
One day Arthur’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!
The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform…… Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful……
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!
The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!!
Don’t tell me you thought that Arthur became a feckin’ doctor!

No!

Doctor – You have a serious disease..
Me -oh no..🙁
Doctor-..that you can cure by eating healthier and exercising.
Me-OH NO!!😭

Something

I took a girl back home last night. We got kissing on the sofa, before I slipped my hand in her knickers, she asked, “Shall we take this upstairs?” I said, “No, I’d rather we did it here.” “Oh I see.” She winked, “Something in your bedroom you don’t want me to see eh?” I said, “Yeah, my wife.”

Two lips

A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position. He asked the same question to each one of them.

Boss : “A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What’s the difference between the two ?”

First Girl : “One is hairy, the other isn’t.”
Boss : “OK… good !”

Second Girl : “One can talk but the other can’t.”
Boss : “That’s better !”

Third Girl : “One is vertical & the other is horizontal.”
Boss : “Hmm.. clever !”

Last Girl : “One is for me & the other is for my Boss.”
Boss : “You are hired… !”

Simple trick

How to get a woman to think about you nonstop…

…borrow a large sum of money from her🤔

Horrific

It would be horrific if farting was as contagious as yawning.

Time for call

There was this girl in high school that said she’d only sleep with me if the world was ending, thinking about giving her a call.