300 Short Jokes and One-Liners That Land in One Line
300 of the best short jokes and one-liners, sorted by topic: work, marriage, drinking, tech, animals, puns and more. All clean enough to read out loud.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
50 Best One-Liners: Short Jokes That Actually Land
Fifty of the best one-liners on the internet: short, clean jokes about work, marriage, drinking and life. Quick to read, easy to steal.
The Red Bull Heist
Thieves have stolen 250,000 cans of Red Bull today from a warehouse in Liverpool. Police say they have no leads, but reckon the culprits could… Read More »The Red Bull Heist
The Best Revenge
My breakup was so bad that I decided to post some revenge porn. It was naked pictures of myself to show how low my ex-partner’s… Read More »The Best Revenge
What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium?
What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium? A migration to the cloud
Masked Rodent (58200)
After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then… Read More »I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple
I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple 💜 🚬💧
Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he…
Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he looked like he was 80 over 30 years ago…
I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do…
I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do I smoke? I said why was that your first question?He said,… Read More »I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do…
num-num
A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to… Read More »num-num
Mrs Simmons
I entered a competion for kleptomaniacs. I took first prize…and second prize, and third prize, and a couple of unattended handbags…
Happy Father’s Day
A new teacher joins a school. She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance. The teacher asks: Twins…? Boys: No, we are neighbours!
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
I remember when I received my first headphones… … it was…
I remember when I received my first headphones… … it was music to my ears.
Regress
2021: The Russian army is the second strongest army in the world.2022: The Russian army is the second strongest army in Ukraine.2023: The Russian army… Read More »Regress
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One…
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”
Me – This escape room sucks Nurse – Sir, this is a psych ward
Me – This escape room sucks 😒Nurse – Sir, this is a psych ward
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings…
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings getting a penis enlargement…I just can’t take it any longer
How soon after waking up is it OK to take a nap…
How soon after waking up is it OK to take a nap… Asking for myself.
L want my children to have all the things in the world l could…
l want my children to have all the things in the world l could never afford. Then I’m going to move in with them.
Filtered Fail: Instagram’s Fallstart at Tweeting
Instagram announced they’re launching a competitor to Twitter. However, they hit a snag: Instagram users couldn’t figure out how to add filters to their tweets.
– Excuse me sir, we have a dress code here. – I work in IT -…
– Excuse me sir, we have a dress code here. – I work in IT – carry on
neither have I
Have you ever experienced that morning surge of inner energy, a charge of invigoration for the day, and an uncontainable desire to create? No? Neither… Read More »neither have I
I was at an important job interview today.. “Are you on…
I was at an important job interview today..“Are you on facebook?” I was asked.“Sorry, no. I’m not.” I replied.“Twitter?”“Nope.”“Instagram?”“Nah.”“Look, just put your fucking phone away,… Read More »I was at an important job interview today.. “Are you on…
I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off!
I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off! I yelled “just kidding” and IMMEDIATLY gave him his gun back!
You know, the band “Fine Young Cannibals” originally had 8 members.
You know, the band “Fine Young Cannibals” originally had 8 members.
Snooker rules applied to sex If Red is blocking Pink, go for the…
Snooker rules applied to sex If Red is blocking Pink, go for the Brown.
Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins Sex with…
Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins Sex with Jessica felt great, but Jeremy was a pain in the ass.
When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been…
When someone says, “It’s better than sex” they haven’t been having the right kind of sex.