The Good News
The doctor: – I have good news and bad news. – Start with the bad. – You’ll be dead within 24 hours. – And the good news? – I slept with your wife last night.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
Almost Won
A boxer comes home after a fight, completely beaten up. His wife asks: – Did you win? – Almost. I came second.
What Do You Want It to Be
– Honey, I’m pregnant! We’re having a baby. What do you want it to be? – A joke.
Extreme Sports
A man walks into the doctor’s office covered in bruises. – What happened to you? Do you do extreme sports? – Yes. I disagree with my wife.
Plague in Siberia
Mr Putin, why is there a plague epidemic in Siberia? Because in Russia, life is just like in the 14th century!
Heine’s Will
Heinrich Heine left everything to his wife on condition that she remarry, so at least one man would regret his death.
Finishing Together
I wish we could finish together, just once… And what do you want me to do, hire a conductor?
Did you have many guys before me?
Comic: Did you have many guys before me? No, why do you ask? The condom vending machine in your bathroom got me curious.
If you need a problem, I’m here
The most honest t-shirt ever printed: If you need a problem, I’m here.
Two Ice Cubes From Me
A guy to the waiter: “I’d like to buy that lovely blonde at the bar a drink. What’s she having?” “Sir, the lady is drinking… Read More »Two Ice Cubes From Me
What’s Your Ring Size?
Author: Twonks
Walking by Proxy
“Right, I’m heading out for a walk.” “Can you take my watch with you?” Author: TWONKS
200 Dirty Jokes for Adults (Short, Filthy and Strictly 18+)
200 dirty jokes for adults, hand-picked and sorted: dirty one-liners, marriage, dating, doctors and porn. Short, filthy, strictly 18+.
300 Short Jokes and One-Liners That Land in One Line
300 of the best short jokes and one-liners, sorted by topic: work, marriage, drinking, tech, animals, puns and more. All clean enough to read out loud.
50 Best One-Liners: Short Jokes That Actually Land
Fifty of the best one-liners on the internet: short, clean jokes about work, marriage, drinking and life. Quick to read, easy to steal.
The Red Bull Heist
Thieves have stolen 250,000 cans of Red Bull today from a warehouse in Liverpool. Police say they have no leads, but reckon the culprits could… Read More »The Red Bull Heist
The Best Revenge
My breakup was so bad that I decided to post some revenge porn. It was naked pictures of myself to show how low my ex-partner’s… Read More »The Best Revenge
What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium?
What’s the IT guy doing in a crematorium? A migration to the cloud
Masked Rodent (58200)
After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was a bit of a slut when she playfully called me her thirty second lover.Then… Read More »I feel bad about misjudging my new girlfriend.I thought she was…
I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple
I’m not really a fan of purple, unless it’s…Deep Purple 💜 🚬💧
Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he…
Keith Richards turned 80 yesterday, weird thing is that he looked like he was 80 over 30 years ago…
I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do…
I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do I smoke? I said why was that your first question?He said,… Read More »I saw my doctor last week and he asked me how much marijuana do…
num-num
A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to… Read More »num-num
Mrs Simmons
I entered a competion for kleptomaniacs. I took first prize…and second prize, and third prize, and a couple of unattended handbags…
Happy Father’s Day
A new teacher joins a school. She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance. The teacher asks: Twins…? Boys: No, we are neighbours!
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
“I just did a selfie!” sounds better than, “I just masturbated.”
I remember when I received my first headphones… … it was…
I remember when I received my first headphones… … it was music to my ears.
Regress
2021: The Russian army is the second strongest army in the world.2022: The Russian army is the second strongest army in Ukraine.2023: The Russian army… Read More »Regress
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One…
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!” – One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”