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My wife said I’m a useless, lazy slob & she deserves better.. I said, “You woke me up at 3 O’clock in the fucking afternoon… Read More »My wife said I’m a useless, lazy slob & she deserves better..
I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. She’s an animal in bed.
I’m in big trouble with my wife. Lying in bed, she asked ” What I’d like to do most with her body?” Apparently, “Identify it”,… Read More »I’m in big trouble with my wife.
Recipe said to “Chill in the fridge for two hours”… I nearly died.
My doctor said that I have to exercise more and eat healthier foods, this is going to be a huge change for me… Finding a… Read More »My doctor said that I have to exercise more and eat healthier…
If I was in marketing I’d advise a company that makes pregnancy tests to call them Maybe Baby.
Sometimes I’ll be sitting on the couch doing nothing, and I’ll think to myself, “Man, I’m really getting good at this.”
My asshole of a boss just yelled at me in front of everyone for eating chips at work. “John, you’re a fucking croupier!”
20-years together and the Missus still gets upset if I use her toothbrush…. So, if anyone knows another way to get dog shit off my… Read More »20-years together and the Missus still gets upset if I use her…
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my money and now I am being arrested.