Why do Adam and Eve use Android?
Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.
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Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.
I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home She said I’m on my menstrual cycle, I said that’s okay I’ll… Read More »I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home She said I’m…
What do you call a bodybuilder with a large penis? A beginner.
The wife has just been diagnosed with an iron deficiency…. So I’ve bought her a new one for Christmas🎄🎅
I’ve never been able to tell my mechanic my car problems, with out reverting to sound effects
My mates call me stingy, so I decided to buy them a beer. Turns out, they wanted 1 each.
Anything is possible. Tenderly, gently and a little trotil.
My wife was scrolling through Twitter and says, “wow, some people are fucking idiots!” I replied, “I know, I’m one of them”
My boss pays me just enough so that he knows I won’t quit, so I do just enough work so that I know he won’t… Read More »My boss pays me just enough so that he knows I won’t quit, so I…
A friend’s mother gave me a Blowjob. I didn’t think I’d be blowing up balloons for his party.
A man called his twin brother from prison. A man called his twin brother from prison. “Hey remember when we were kids and use to… Read More »A man called his twin brother from prison.
What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek? With Hide & Seek I can count to ten before I shout, “I’m coming, ready or… Read More »What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek?
Extrovert: It’s a pleasure to meet you. Introvert: It’s a pressure to meet you.
I just walked into a restaurant. They asked if I had any reservations. I said yes, I heard the reviews were shit.
Today I was thinking that I needed a break from life, then it dawned on me that life is fine, I need a break from… Read More »Today I was thinking that I needed a break from life, then it…
I don’t see my wife & kids anymore. It’s all due to gambling. I won the lottery and I moved to Hawai’i
“The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach.” The surgeon was fired later that day.
I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on on Christmas Day I didn’t have anything to… Read More »I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on…
After my wife heard about “A woman’s right to shoes,” she went out and bought 12 new pairs.
No officer these drugs aren’t mine, I stole them.
Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.
People always say, let me be Frank, I want to know who this guy is and what makes him so special…
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my ass. He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket… Read More »Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my…
Apparently, if you type erectile dysfunction into google…. Nothing comes up
What if, instead of Cinderella being a cleaning slave, she was a cooking slave and her name was Mozzarella?
I don’t work well under pressure or under any other circumstances.
The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my entire life. I somehow shot myself in the eye when… Read More »The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my…
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me all your money and I’ll let you live. The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh! You… Read More »A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me…
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden, when you order it the person behind you has to pay for it..
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting He said this is his home security camera