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Fun jokes

Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.

The Golden Ratio of the Week

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The length of the days of the week, explained with the golden ratio. Mathematics has finally explained why Monday never ends and Sunday is over before it starts.

Where They Hide It

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Scientists hide knowledge where fools will never find it. In books.

Weakness and Hardness

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A woman’s affair is a moment of weakness. A man’s affair is a moment of hardness.

We’ll See

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Two voyeurs are talking: – What are we doing tonight? – Don’t know. We’ll see.

Comfort Zone

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How do I leave my comfort zone if I’ve never once been in it?

Lottery Plans

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Wife: – When you win the lottery, I’m getting a facelift, Botox and new boobs. What do you say? – And what would you say if I spent that money tuning up my old pickup?

In Whose Image

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The creators of AI complain to God: – Lord, we built an AI and it turned out deceitful, cunning and irresponsible! – And in whose image did you create it?

Don’t Call Me at Work

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– Why do you never tell me when you finish? – You told me not to call you at work.

A Stranger

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– If I left you for another man, would you feel sorry? – Feel sorry for a stranger?

Persian Gulf

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My Persian cat made a Persian Gulf on my Persian rug.

Will You Cry

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– Honey, will you cry when I die? – Of course I will. You know I cry over every little thing!

The Wine Taster

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A winery is hiring a taster. A scruffy drunk shows up for the interview and nails every glass, including the last one: blonde, 26, three months pregnant. And if you don’t hire me, I’ll tell everyone who the father is.

Effective Bio-Managers

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Biology textbooks will no longer say “parasites”. The politically correct term is now “effective bio-managers”.

Layoffs

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A man gathers his wife, the neighbour’s wife and his mistress: – Girls, times are hard. There will be layoffs…

Bricks in Bed

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Comic: Are you crazy? Why are you hauling bricks to bed? None of your business! A wall between partners, in the most literal sense.

Still New Here

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The boss is yelling at the new employee: – What, do you think I’m an idiot? – I don’t know, I’m still new here.

The Good News

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The doctor: – I have good news and bad news. – Start with the bad. – You’ll be dead within 24 hours. – And the good news? – I slept with your wife last night.

Almost Won

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A boxer comes home after a fight, completely beaten up. His wife asks: – Did you win? – Almost. I came second.

Extreme Sports

A man walks into the doctor’s office covered in bruises. – What happened to you? Do you do extreme sports? – Yes. I disagree with my wife.

Plague in Siberia

Mr Putin, why is there a plague epidemic in Siberia? Because in Russia, life is just like in the 14th century!

Heine’s Will

Heinrich Heine left everything to his wife on condition that she remarry, so at least one man would regret his death.

Finishing Together

I wish we could finish together, just once… And what do you want me to do, hire a conductor?

Walking by Proxy

“Right, I’m heading out for a walk.” “Can you take my watch with you?” Author: TWONKS

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