A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.
Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking. I went into the fridge the next day and grabbed a beer… Read More »Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking.
The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going… Read More »A man walks into a bar…
Tequila: Liquid that won’t change your life but it’s worth a shot.
OMG guys, you won’t believe this but James Bond just came into the bar I work at and ordered a drink I’m literally shaking right… Read More »OMG guys, you won’t believe this but James Bond just came into…
To all the teachers who said I would be nothing but a construction worker and an alcoholic. Fuck you that just was a lucky guess
Pavlov was sitting in a bar and enjoying his beer during his spare time. At that moment, bar phone rang loudly and Pavlov started worrying.… Read More »Pavlov was sitting in a bar and enjoying his beer during his…
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of your best wine,” he ordered.… Read More »After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch…
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of… Read More »Example
Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings.. What the hell is leftover beer?
I went to a bar full of lesbians…even the pool table didn’t have any balls !
Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa I had to explain to him that I’m married… Read More »Sorry pal
A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously drunk man stumbles in. “Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for… Read More »Drinks for everyone
>>Doctor and Engineer in chocolate store in Joke of the Day Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store. While they were busy… Read More »Doctor and Engineer in chocolate store
The first one transforms into a bat and flies away. After a couple of minutes he comes back with some blood in his lips. The… Read More »Three drunk vampires make a bet to see who is the best at taking blood from their victims.
Most bars in the world are closed right now
He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass… Read More »This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.
Alcohol…. Because, sometimes you need a warm hug from inside. ???
Oh geez, this joke (above) is hysterical!I’m Australian. Years ago I visited Glasgow alone. I walked into a restaurant that night. The lady at the… Read More »A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.
The bartender replies “Free”.The customer, completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender “Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of… Read More »A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “How much for a beer?”
The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, throws 20 quarters onto the floor, etc.The next day, again.On the fourth… Read More »A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer “That’ll be fivedollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters ontothe floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and servesthe beer.
An American walks by, sees what the German is doing and says, “Gross!” The German says, “Danke!”
Walks into a bar
“Is she an alcoholic?” “No I am, but she is the one who suffers”
Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in… Read More »My favorite Finnish joke
“Ok” he starts, “how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”But before he can finish, a blonde woman from the audience stands… Read More »So a ventriloquist is on stage telling jokes at a local bar with his dummy on his leg. He asks if the audience wants to hear a blonde joke and the audience cheers with general enthusiasm…
he orders a beer and a mop
”two beers, ” he says ”one for me, and one for the road.”
“5 beers please”
Oops I mean: I give up, drinking this year.
He Says he can stop any time he wants