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Bar Jokes

A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.

like her

A completely wasted man walked into a bar and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over… Read More »like her

light

And the lord said “let there be light!”… And beer has never been the same since.

mouth to mouth

I opened a new bottle of wine today and let it breathe… It didnt look to be breathing so I gave it mouth to mouth!

no caffeine

Drinking coffee with no caffeine is like masturbating with a condom on.

chances

The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. …Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.

no excuse

Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse

more beer

  • by

At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…

drunk forever

Kid:Daddy why did you and mommy divorce? Dad:Well your mother couldn’t keep me drunk forever…

always

I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.

movie

A drunk guy was with his girlfriend in a cinema and suddenly, he fell asleep.After a while, he woke up and started screaming ‘MY PENIS,MY… Read More »movie

drunk guy

North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party. everyone is trying to calm him down but he’s convinced he needs to fight… Read More »drunk guy

chance

My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.

I always knew

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I always knew you’d hurt me. I knew you’d break my heart and just walk away. Who the fuck steals someone’s beer!?

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