boxer
This girl was chatting me up at the pub. “So, what do you do for a living?” she asked, batting her eyelids over her glass.”… Read More »boxer
Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.
so tired?
Ever been so tired at work that people thought you were drunk? I hope so because thats the only excuse I have for being drunk… Read More »so tired?
what day is it
during a random drugs test i got asked “have you consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours?” as i look back on it now i… Read More »what day is it
don’t forget
A very attractive young woman came up to me today and asked me to get her a drink. Then I remembered. I was serving behind… Read More »don’t forget
Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.
Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.
good hangover
I don’t even call it a hangover anymore. It’s just morning.
keep up
Boss: “You’re not suppose to be drinking on the job!” Me: “You’re not suppose to cheat on your wife.” Boss: “Keep up the good work”
plans
I never plan on drinking as much I do. …which is why I no longer make plans.
what was the question
Alcohol isn’t the answer. It just makes you forget the question.
autocorect
My android autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” . i left it. it’s true.
another
My goal is to lose this hangover So I can earn another.
I don’t have the blood alcohol content to deal with you right now.
I don’t have the blood alcohol content to deal with you right now.
cheap solution
Can’t afford anti depressants… So I’m drinking No More Tears shampoo.
depends
Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 cans of beer a day seems necessary.
fluent
I’m drunk so much tequila last night I woke up speaking Spanish this morning
anniversary
Last night my wife found me in the pub, threw a pint over my head, and called me a ‘fucking cock’. Every year she has… Read More »anniversary
trick
The government really are sneaky bastards. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you… Read More »trick
A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young…
A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” the doctor observed. To the 1st mother,… Read More »A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young…
caught
I lost a very good friend and drinking partner yesterday.. His finger got caught in a wedding ring..
fruit
I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
Friday night
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again…
step out
“Can I have a double shot of fireball please?” I slurred. “Dont you think you’ve had enough, ma’am?” “Excuse me!? Listen asshole, I could out-drink… Read More »step out
complimentary
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says… Read More »complimentary
early
The people who complain about Mondays must not start drinking early enough.
I just called in sick because I have a cold…. case if beer in…
I just called in sick because I have a cold…. case if beer in my fridge.
BBQ rules
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity… Read More »BBQ rules
device
Ever heard about the device that converts thoughts into speech? It’s called Alcohol..
regret
If you get drunk and don’t regret anything the next day, then something is wrong with the way you drink!!
better place
Men, never go to a bar to pick up women. Just hang out in the shower head section at Home Depot.
I’ve just dropped my wife off at her mom’s, on my way to the bar.
I’ve just dropped my wife off at her mom’s, on my way to the bar. Man I fucking love this helicopter.