A boy was born without a body
A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the… Read More »A boy was born without a body
Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.
New Year’s Eve
On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local bar and said that it was time to get ready.At the stroke of midnight, she… Read More »New Year’s Eve
What did the vampire say after drinking the donkey’s blood?
Tastes like ass.
At a bar, my friend made a remarkable shot in pool and I asked how he did it.
He said, “When I am about to take a shot, it’s like magic, I can just see the line where I need to shoot.”Then he… Read More »At a bar, my friend made a remarkable shot in pool and I asked how he did it.
Weatherman are like that over aggressive guy at the bar…
…always telling us how many inches we are going to get and always failing to deliver.
Three vampires walk into a bar
Bartender asks “What can I get ya?”The first vampire says “I’d like a Bloody Mary.” Second vampire, “I’ll take a Blood on the Rocks.” On… Read More »Three vampires walk into a bar
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary!”The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a rum… Read More »A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
A guy named Danny walks into a bar…
A guy named Danny walks into a bar, tells the bartender to get him four shots of the highest proof he has, and says, “I… Read More »A guy named Danny walks into a bar…
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and a Whiskey Connoisseur?
Only one thinks it gets better with age.
A politician uses statistics like a drunk uses a street light.
For support, rather than illumination.
A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar
I should quit drinking
A guy in a clown costume walks into a bar
The bartender looks at the man and says “why the costume?”The guy looks at the bartender and says “Oh, this is my work uniform. A… Read More »A guy in a clown costume walks into a bar
Im giving up drinking for a year
Whoops, that came out wrongIm giving up, drinking for a year.
The curse of breaking a beer bottle, mirror and a condom
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck!Condom:… Read More »The curse of breaking a beer bottle, mirror and a condom
A Pirate walks into a Bar
Bartender asks “Why do you have a paper towel on your hat?”Pirate says “Arrgh, there be a Bounty on me head.”ThanksAlexa
A Klansman, a murderer and a wife beater walks to a bar
The bartender says: “Hello Officer, what would you like to drink?”
Finn, ex-stormtrooper, Resistance hero, walks into a bar
The bartender sees him, rolls his eyes, and grunts, “It’s FN 2187.”
A man tried to connect to his local bar’s WiFi.
“What’s the password for the WiFi?” The man asked the bartender.He replied, “Buy a beer to find out.”The man bought himself a drink and returned… Read More »A man tried to connect to his local bar’s WiFi.
A man asks for the wifi password at a bar
The bartender replies”Buy a beer first”So the man orders a beer and asks the bartender again.He replies:”Buyabeerfirst”
Rudolf (the red-nosed reindeer) found himself leaving a gay bar
and said, “I can’t believe I just blew twenty bucks!”
A plumber walks into a bar
He’s there to fix the toilet.
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender stops him in advance, “We don’t serve noble gases around here.”Helium doesn’t react.
I only drink alcohol on days that start with a “T”
Today and tomorrow
A cowboy walks into a bar…
He became a cowman(Don’t roast me too much… it’s my first time posting)
Somewhere in Siberia
Note: translated from another language(dirty)LongSiberia, it’s super cold,freezing, a man is crawling, struggling hard, he’s on a verge of death. Suddenly he sees a light… Read More »Somewhere in Siberia
No beer in Heaven
Old Lenard had passed away and was being buried. Just as the coffin was being lowered into the ground a friend tossed a handful of… Read More »No beer in Heaven
A bunch of toilets walk into a bar,
and then shit got wild
A cowboy walks into a bar…
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of… Read More »A cowboy walks into a bar…
What do you call eating ass while you’re both drunk?
Getting shitfaced.