I like my coffee like I like my women
Full of alcohol
Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.
A boxer walks into a gym…
It’s particularly crowded, and there are long lines of people waiting to use the equipment.First, he waits in the pull-up bar line, and does 25… Read More »A boxer walks into a gym…
Everything you need to know about Australia
I REALLY hope these are trueThese were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who… Read More »Everything you need to know about Australia
Chemists
Two chemists walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” The first chemist responds, “I’d like some H2O.” The second chemists… Read More »Chemists
a horse, a pediatrician and a fish walk into a bar
the horse stands in place, the fish dies and pediatrician just missed his shift
Where do shepherds go for a drink?
Bar Bar Black Sheep
So I was driving Uber tonight…
So I was driving Uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCC. She sat in the front and we were… Read More »So I was driving Uber tonight…
Him: All my female sheep ate some fermented berries and have gotten drunk and passed out, should I tell the coroner?
Her: No, that’s a ewe problem; not a ME problem.
I think it’s fair to say my Aunt Bessie has a drinking problem.
She thinks I’m twins.
A man drinks alone at the Empire State Buildings rooftop bar
Soon, a stranger sits next to him and after a few more drinks they get to chatting.”Want to hear something amazing?” asks the stranger.”Shoot,” replies… Read More »A man drinks alone at the Empire State Buildings rooftop bar
A Catholic, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar.
Bartender says “Is this some kinda fucking joke”
Pavlov walks into a bar when the bell rings
He stares, “oh shit, I forgot to feed my dogs”
A panda walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the… Read More »A panda walks into a bar.
The first thing you have to learn before squatting at the gym…
… is to set up a bar in Iraq.
Adam Driver walks into a bar…
The bartender says,”Why the long face?”
I’m a bartender
Guy: One Mojito pleaseMe: SureGuy: Can you make it virgin?Me (Holding back tears): Yes… yes I can
A blind man walks into a bar.
And a table. And a chair.
A snake walks into a bar
the bartender ask, “How’d you do that?”
Why do archaeologists always drink beer?
Their careers are in ruins!
A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
A farmer walks into a bar asks for a pint of beer. The bartender brings the man his beer, and walks away. As the farmer… Read More »A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
A man mumbled to his friend, sitting at the bar,”My girl,Mary, is going to die of syphilis.”…
“No,”the friend said,”people don’t die of syphilis anymore.”They do when they give it to me!”came the response.
Help with stranded color work
Hi! I’m starting this chart and have a question on row two. I have to make one (pick up the bar in the middle of… Read More »Help with stranded color work
A fruit and a vegetable stroll into a bar.
The bartender calls out : “Oh, anything the matter? You look confused today, tomato”
I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
What can I do? I can’t not go, it would be really messed up because i keep pushing off hanging out on weekends with b.s.… Read More »I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
They fill your bottles with tears.
Alcohol ruins lives I’m not here to get preachy so heres my storyMy dad is an alcoholic, comes home late and drunk never has time… Read More »They fill your bottles with tears.
Two for the price of one!
A man walks into a bar after stealing 20% of my couch.Ouch.
A horse goes into a bar
“Hey horse, why the long face?””I’m not a horse, I’m Adrien Brody”
Bruno Mars defending Mars vs Elon Musk invading Mars
Elon is trying to win the new space race but there’s a problem; Bruno already made it.Bruno gains the power of all his lyrics, and… Read More »Bruno Mars defending Mars vs Elon Musk invading Mars
A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer
However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.