Guy walks into a bar
Most bars in the world are closed right now
thefun
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.One evening, Mildred, age… Read More »Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion
The Italian said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love… Read More »An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion
JOKESTER
We’re looking for someone to eat macaroni and cheese at the end of our bed while we have sex. No weirdos please.
This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.
He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass… Read More »This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.
Boy wants to start dating a girl
>>Boy wants to start dating a girl Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to start dating this awesome girl!” Father: “That’s great, son!… Read More »Boy wants to start dating a girl
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m… Read More »The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.”Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something,… Read More »Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!”
JOKESTER
Wife: “I’ve heard, men start to go deaf, if he takes Viagra often.” Husband: “Who the fuck is Jeff and why is he taking you… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
I must admit, I really miss being at work and bitching about not wanting to be at work.
So as predicted the economic crisis has hit my local area and all attention has turned to the hardship caused to small business. Its been a simply disastrous start to the week…..
Our bra manufacturer has gone bust.The specialist in submersibles has gone under.A dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers.The suppliers of paper for… Read More »So as predicted the economic crisis has hit my local area and all attention has turned to the hardship caused to small business. Its been a simply disastrous start to the week…..
JOKESTER
The only person who listens to both sides of an argument is the next door neighbor….
JOKESTER
Alcohol…. Because, sometimes you need a warm hug from inside. ???
JOKESTER
Quarantining alone . .. i set the table. , lit candles. turned down the lights , put soft music on… made 2 meals. ate Both
A 10 year old asks her mum how she was born.
Her mother smiles and answers: A long time ago your dad and I planted some seeds. Your dad pushed them in the ground and I… Read More »A 10 year old asks her mum how she was born.
Why some of us might drink…..
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the… Read More »Why some of us might drink…..
A farmer
buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the… Read More »A farmer
A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.
Oh geez, this joke (above) is hysterical!I’m Australian. Years ago I visited Glasgow alone. I walked into a restaurant that night. The lady at the… Read More »A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies “Free”.The customer, completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender “Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of… Read More »A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “How much for a beer?”
One Finnish soldier is better
>>One Finnish soldier is better in Joke of the Day The Soviet army is marching in Finland. They hear a voice from the other side… Read More »One Finnish soldier is better
JOKESTER
Easter is only a couple of days away, I need to hurry up and decide if I’m going to spend it in the living room,… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
I’ll bet in the future y’all are going to have 2nd thoughts before saying “I hope this weekend lasts forever”.
JOKESTER
Washed a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week.
Three teenagers are walking along the side of a canal…
They notice some men in suits moving frantically around a drowning man. The three teenagers jump in and save the drowning person only to realize… Read More »Three teenagers are walking along the side of a canal…
JOKESTER
I don’t think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, that we’d go from Standard Time to the fucking Twilight Zone
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages.
They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
How about an Indian joke?
A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts “Is there a doctor here?” A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and… Read More »How about an Indian joke?
I’m kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer
Yeah, I gave ’em my too weak notice
I have a friend who circumsises elephants.
It doesn’t pay much, but the tips are huge!
A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer “That’ll be fivedollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters ontothe floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and servesthe beer.
The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, throws 20 quarters onto the floor, etc.The next day, again.On the fourth… Read More »A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer “That’ll be fivedollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters ontothe floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and servesthe beer.