JOKESTER
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you’re probably still an idiot.
thefun
JOKESTER
my husband pissed me off today, so I poured some water on the floor in front of the washing machine…..2 hours he’s been trying to… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
When a sketchy guy wearing a mask and gloves rings your doorbell at night: 2019: OH MY GOD CALL THE COPS!!! 2020: Yay! Dinner’s here,… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
The prostitute said we could do it as long as we both wore surgical masks and persepex visors…. Suits me….. They normally charge extra when… Read More »JOKESTER
Yoda and Luke Star Wars Joke
>>Yoda and Luke Star Wars Joke Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff… Read More »Yoda and Luke Star Wars Joke
85-year-old physical exam
>>85-year-old physical exam An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor… Read More »85-year-old physical exam
JOKESTER
What’s the opposite of a stand up comedy? A sitcom. ???
JOKESTER
Break up’s are the hardest in China…… You see her face everywhere. ??????
JOKESTER
“Mommy, am I adopted?” “Not yet Honey. I only placed the ad yesterday”.
JOKESTER
Half of relationships end because of bad sex .Mine however ended because of good sex… With another Woman.
Drinks for everyone
A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously drunk man stumbles in. “Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for… Read More »Drinks for everyone
Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news.
“You’ve got a rare disease and you’ve only got 6 months to live,” the doc tells him. The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor… Read More »Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news.
JOKESTER
The NFL is considering a season without fans in the stadiums… They plan on reaching out to the Cincinnati Bengals for advice.
JOKESTER
I must admit, I really miss being at work and bitching about not wanting to be at work.
Guy gets bad news
Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news. “You’ve got a rare disease and you’ve only got 6 months to live,”… Read More »Guy gets bad news
I’m a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.
There was a story being told around in the early 2000s, when there was a lot of hysteria about harmful radiation from cellphones.Apparently, some people… Read More »I’m a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.
Doctor and Engineer in chocolate store
>>Doctor and Engineer in chocolate store in Joke of the Day Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store. While they were busy… Read More »Doctor and Engineer in chocolate store
JOKESTER
A man’s making love to his wife. He asks her “Can you moan to get me more excited?” She says “the taps dripping, you ain’t… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
l got bored staying in with this lockdown, so for something to do l measured my dick…. now l’m bored & depressed.
Einstein sits next to a man on a long flight.
Einstein says,”Let’s play a game. I will ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but… Read More »Einstein sits next to a man on a long flight.
Three guys got into a car crash and all died.
They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said “Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do… Read More »Three guys got into a car crash and all died.
JOKESTER
Dad: One day you’ll grow up to be a man. Son: I’m 23. Dad: Yes, but you use Tik Tok.
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been… Read More »After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
Wal- Matt
A man was in a long line at Wal-Mart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he… Read More »Wal- Matt
I heard about a double entendre contest on the radio
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, “I’ll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you’re doing.” At 1000 feet, the instructor… Read More »I heard about a double entendre contest on the radio
A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
Well, it was an immediate hit.They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend… Read More »A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”
Merkel, Trump, and Putin are at a military inspection
They are standing at a dock. Trump points at an American submarine: “Our American submarines are so well-made, they can last half a year under… Read More »Merkel, Trump, and Putin are at a military inspection
Three drunk vampires make a bet to see who is the best at taking blood from their victims.
The first one transforms into a bat and flies away. After a couple of minutes he comes back with some blood in his lips. The… Read More »Three drunk vampires make a bet to see who is the best at taking blood from their victims.
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…
“Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”Of course, the wife agrees and they… Read More »A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…
Screams of passion
in Joke of the Day An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: “Last night I massaged… Read More »Screams of passion