Continually
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party, that you do not attend
thefun
Much better
Life would be so much better if at the end of each day, it asked…. “Would you like to save the changes?”
No chance
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband… Read More »No chance
Conspiracy
They want us to get vaccinated so they can inject us with microchips and track us anywhere. -Sent from my iPhone
Friendly advice
A cop drives past my open garage in California, and notices my plants and grow lamps. He stops and shouts, “You better not be growing… Read More »Friendly advice
Clown
I quit my job at McDonald’s today… Boss was a clown
No balls
I went to a bar full of lesbians…even the pool table didn’t have any balls !
Guess the number
I called a restaurant and ask for a table for two.. he said ” wrong number ” so I said ” I’d like a table… Read More »Guess the number
Judas
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return… Read More »Judas
Sorry pal
Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa I had to explain to him that I’m married… Read More »Sorry pal
Diffrence
What’s the difference between Jesus and whore? Jesus says: take this bread, it is my body. A whore says: take this body, it is my… Read More »Diffrence
Not only
Ladies, we don’t only want your nudes We want your friend’s nudes too, please understand.
A man is sitting alone in an airport lounge when a beautiful…
A man is sitting alone in an airport lounge when a beautiful woman sits at the table next to him. Long He decides because she’s… Read More »A man is sitting alone in an airport lounge when a beautiful…
Every day
I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said, “Nice ass”. She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say… Read More »Every day
Coronavirus jokes cured my depression due to quarantine.
Coronavirus jokes cured my depression due to quarantine.
Costco worker asked if I wanna box for my groceries.
Costco worker asked if I wanna box for my groceries. No bro I’m just trying to pay for them, everyone’s so violent these days.
Waiting
religion is waiting for corona to end. so they can get back to performing miracles and healing the sick
Protect
The quarantine has ruined many marriages but mine is still going strong. Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife… Read More »Protect
JOKESTER
Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia . . . Hwoevr tihs is olny ni etxreem caess of slef aubse
JOKESTER
What happens when someone yells “FIRE”, during a porn shoot? Premature Evacuations
JOKESTER
Life is short, if you can’t laugh at yourself call me, I will.
JOKESTER
Scientists: Direct exposure to sunlight will kill Covid19 in as little as 3 minutes. Government: Close the beaches! Everyone stay inside!
At the same time
I knew a guy who had a massive heart attack during sex. He came and went at the same time.
I haven’t laughed since my wife died.
I haven’t laughed since my wife died. People often ask: Why did you laugh when your wife died?
JOKESTER
Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.
JOKESTER
Since I’ve been in self-isolation, I have been thinking a lot about the F word. Fauci, face mask, flu, fever, furlough, fries…
JOKESTER
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.