What’s the perfect date?
What’s the perfect date? DD-MM-YYYY is the most logical to me
thefun
My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.
My life was ruined by my obsession with video games. Fortunately, I had another two lives.
Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine…
Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine… Going to watch all documentaries this way now!
I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today.
I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today. The parents called the manager.
I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with…
I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with big brown eyes. But in reality, I just hope someone shoots her… Read More »I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with…
I got fired from work today I don’t know why, I didn’t even do…
I got fired from work today I don’t know why, I didn’t even do anything.
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!! Her husband asked ” what happened ? “” The doctor was stunned and he… Read More »A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
Professor: April, you are failing my class.
Professor: April, you are failing my class. April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I’m sure we can fix this. I’ll do annnything… Read More »Professor: April, you are failing my class.
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building…
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy…
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome…
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to pick two of them.
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion I said “it’s…
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusionI said “it’s not what it looks like”
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe. I don’t care how big the spider is, no one steals my… Read More »I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am… Read More »So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.
I went for a tattoo.
I told the tattooist that I wanted a tattoo of an Indian on my back. Half way through I said “put a tomahawk in his… Read More »I went for a tattoo.
I hate double standards.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them…
Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them how many sexual partners they’ve had? Because it’s well known that counting sheep helps… Read More »Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them…
Doctor: If you want to lose some weight, quit eating fatty.
Doctor: If you want to lose some weight, quit eating fatty.Me: Like fatty foods? chips and dip?Doctor: NO, quit eating Fatty!!!
I had a dream!
I had a dream! I dreamed that in 2021 there’s a new viral gastroenteritis: COSHIT. We all go around in diapers, and remember the 2020… Read More »I had a dream!
A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady…
A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him…… Read More »A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady…
The makers of Viagra have announced that they’ve developed a…
The makers of Viagra have announced that they’ve developed a pill to increase the wetness in women… The pill will be called Niagra.
2020 is still better than my first marriage
2020 is still better than my first marriage
Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her to calm down, she’ll…
Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her to calm down, she’ll realize that she’s overreacting and she’ll thank you. Follow me for more… Read More »Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her to calm down, she’ll…
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village .
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who… Read More »A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village .
Doctor – You have a serious disease..
Doctor – You have a serious disease.. Me -oh no..? Doctor-..that you can cure by eating healthier and exercising. Me-OH NO!!?
Something
I took a girl back home last night. We got kissing on the sofa, before I slipped my hand in her knickers, she asked, “Shall… Read More »Something
Two lips
A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position. He asked the same question to each one of them. Boss : “A woman… Read More »Two lips
Simple trick
How to get a woman to think about you nonstop… …borrow a large sum of money from her?
Horrific
It would be horrific if farting was as contagious as yawning.