I just learned how to lock pick
Its opened so many doors for me
thefun
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
A son asks his dad, “Why is my sister named Teresa?”
“Because your mom loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.” “Thanks Dad!” “You’re welcome Alan.”
“Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.”
“But I never went to college.” “Well then, I’m sorry. You are underqualified to work here.”
I told my friends ten puns to try to make them laugh
But no pun in ten did
A man asks a female friend if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars…
“A million?” she says. “I guess so.” “Would you sleep with me for just one dollar?” he asks. “One dollar?! Hell no! What kind of… Read More »A man asks a female friend if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars…
Teacher was having a problem with a boy
>>Teacher was having a problem with a boy A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class. The… Read More »Teacher was having a problem with a boy
This 6 year old poker game keeps getting better and better with monthly updates and daily live events. Join in and start enjoying the best poker experience on the internet.
2. Comments must be relevant to the Promoted Post and contribute to discussion 3. Comments can offer feedback or criticism, but personal or other attacks… Read More »This 6 year old poker game keeps getting better and better with monthly updates and daily live events. Join in and start enjoying the best poker experience on the internet.
Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed
> > Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter wanted to say a… Read More »Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed
Jewish man sends son to Israel
> > Jewish man sends son to Israel in Joke of the Day A Jewish man decides his son isn’t religious enough, so he pays… Read More »Jewish man sends son to Israel
Talking frog
A young man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into… Read More »Talking frog
Severe headache for years
> > Severe headache for years A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end. The doctor said, “Joe,… Read More »Severe headache for years
Japanese, Brit and Indian
> > Japanese, Brit and Indian in Joke of the Day Japanese, Brit and Indian A Japanese, a brit and an Indian were traveling by… Read More »Japanese, Brit and Indian
Blonde teenager
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” She started canvassing a nearby… Read More »Blonde teenager
JOKESTER
This Stay at Home shit needs to end soon, today I took a nap simply to stop eating.
JOKESTER
Best part about coronavirus? I can tell people to stay the fuck away from me and I’m not just being an asshole.
JOKESTER
Her: “Why do men kneel when proposing?” Me: ” They’re talking to the pussy not you…”
JOKESTER
Similarities between Walt Disney and Pornhub. – Hiring adults to act like teens. – Have lots of family issues. – Keep remaking similar content. –… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
My heart sank when I came home early and saw the plumbers van parked in our drive. Thankfully though, he was in there fcuking my… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I’m a piece of meat… ….And it wouldn’t bother me, if she wasn’t a vegan.
JOKESTER
Me: This weed is shit!! ( 15 minutes later) ” I never knew my dog speaks Spanish”!
JOKESTER
We haven’t seen any porn on your phone in a couple of days….you okay? ~NSA
JOKESTER
I don’t know who needs to hear this but…. shave your Valentines gift.
JOKESTER
“Head & Shoulders” for guys it’s a shampoo. For fat chicks, a selfie.
JOKESTER
Having a Playboy magazine to just read the articles is like watching the Superbowl just for the football ?
JOKESTER
Telling her to calm down is child’s play, if you really want to see her lose her shit tell her that she’s acting like her… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
Work mode activated. Work mode initialized. Error 4321: could not find “motivation.exe.” A fatal error has occurred. Activating sleep mode.
JOKESTER
The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate when talking to women.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous
JOKESTER
A couple are fussing over their new born baby boy “Look at the size of his willy. Its huge”. Says the husband. ….. “Yes, but… Read More »JOKESTER