Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?
Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.
Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.
Like you don’t see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
The task is to go into a forest and capture the rabbit in there.The FBI goes in, they place inside operatives into the animal kingdom,… Read More »The FBI, CIA, and KGB are trying to prove which one of them is the best at catching their targets.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him
Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in… Read More »My favorite Finnish joke
r/aww•Posted byu/sjrem4 hours ago2My 12yo son used the $50 he got for Christmas to buy our old hound a new bed 48.3k points415 comments
He said “Genius”
She asked why Budapest.I said I’d renamed my stomach BudapestShe asked why againBecause Budapest is the capital of Hungry.She is divorcing me.
3 friends were stranded on an island. After walking for hours, the 3 men. were found by a tribe that lived deep in the woods… Read More »3 Men On An Island
Because he spent years at C
As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;”I would like to buy some cyanide,”The… Read More »A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy
One says to the other “You’re doing alright, how am I?”
r/pics•Posted byu/loluser22961 hour agoTree Tunnel in Vermont 0 points13 comments
Half way through the man’s trip, he gets a phone call from his brother who says, “Your wife just had a beautiful baby girl and… Read More »A man’s wife is 38 weeks pregnant with twins and he has to go on a month long business trip. Because the man knows that his wife will have the kids while he is gone he puts his brother in charge of accompanying his wife to the hospital and naming the kids.
“I think it’s got epilepsy” she tells the vet.Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”.The blond says, “Well DUH!!!, I… Read More »A blond takes her goldfish to the vet.
“Ok” he starts, “how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”But before he can finish, a blonde woman from the audience stands… Read More »So a ventriloquist is on stage telling jokes at a local bar with his dummy on his leg. He asks if the audience wants to hear a blonde joke and the audience cheers with general enthusiasm…
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he open it
The owner put a sign in the window that read: “Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must… Read More »A local business owner was looking for office help.
Archeology it’s in ruins!
None but there are 52 Targets
The witch tells him: “Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed”!Adam: “Sorry, but I don’t find you attractive.”Witch: “Take that back, or… Read More »Adam meets a witch
A gorgeous blonde was walking past him, stopped for a second with a tang of pity in her eyes.“Have you ever had a hug?” She… Read More »A man with no arms and legs was sun baking on the beach.
he orders a beer and a mop
“Wait, I can explain everything!”
They’re both fucking stupid.
Does that mean I still have to pay child support?
Turns out substance abuse isn’t a joke.