JOKESTER
Somebody missed the perfect opportunity to name this Chinese Corona Virus the Kung Flu ?
thefun
JOKESTER
Everyone is talking about the Corona virus like it’s going to be the plague of the century. I’m not worried about it lasting too long.… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
JOKESTER
Life gave me onions. Onionade sucks.
JOKESTER
You know it’s time to clean the fridge when something closes the door from the inside.
JOKESTER
A tornado has been referred to as a finger of GOD… Suddenly the heavens open up… “THIS IS GOD SPEAKING, THAT IS NOT MY FINGER.”
JOKESTER
We accidentally shot down that airliner and killed all 176 people onboard. -Iran But you should let us have nuclear weapons. -also Iran
JOKESTER
Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten into the candle business, one of her scents is called “This Smells Like My Vagina”. I’m guessing that the candles are… Read More »JOKESTER
JOKESTER
i saw a sign in the hospital this morning that read ‘family planning – use the rear entrance’ thats damn good advice, i thought!
JOKESTER
I was showing my grandpa what YouTube was and he said that he couldn’t imagine what his childhood would’ve been like if he had that,… Read More »JOKESTER
Good News Bad News
Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy,… Read More »Good News Bad News
Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said, “I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha.”
So, “20 x 0 = 0.”I don’t know what’s funny!
Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?
Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.
I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers…
Like you don’t see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti…
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
The FBI, CIA, and KGB are trying to prove which one of them is the best at catching their targets.
The task is to go into a forest and capture the rabbit in there.The FBI goes in, they place inside operatives into the animal kingdom,… Read More »The FBI, CIA, and KGB are trying to prove which one of them is the best at catching their targets.
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
A thief broke into my house
He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him
My favorite Finnish joke
Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in… Read More »My favorite Finnish joke
Pretty new one. Definitely deserves to be in the reddit hall of fame, though.
r/aww•Posted byu/sjrem4 hours ago2My 12yo son used the $50 he got for Christmas to buy our old hound a new bed 48.3k points415 comments
Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for
He said “Genius”
My wife baked me a cake and I told her I was sending it to Budapest.
She asked why Budapest.I said I’d renamed my stomach BudapestShe asked why againBecause Budapest is the capital of Hungry.She is divorcing me.
3 Men On An Island
3 friends were stranded on an island. After walking for hours, the 3 men. were found by a tribe that lived deep in the woods… Read More »3 Men On An Island
Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet
Because he spent years at C
A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy
As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;”I would like to buy some cyanide,”The… Read More »A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy
Two psychics bump into each other walking down the street…
One says to the other “You’re doing alright, how am I?”
Tree Tunnel in Vermont
r/pics•Posted byu/loluser22961 hour agoTree Tunnel in Vermont 0 points13 comments
A man’s wife is 38 weeks pregnant with twins and he has to go on a month long business trip. Because the man knows that his wife will have the kids while he is gone he puts his brother in charge of accompanying his wife to the hospital and naming the kids.
Half way through the man’s trip, he gets a phone call from his brother who says, “Your wife just had a beautiful baby girl and… Read More »A man’s wife is 38 weeks pregnant with twins and he has to go on a month long business trip. Because the man knows that his wife will have the kids while he is gone he puts his brother in charge of accompanying his wife to the hospital and naming the kids.
A blond takes her goldfish to the vet.
“I think it’s got epilepsy” she tells the vet.Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”.The blond says, “Well DUH!!!, I… Read More »A blond takes her goldfish to the vet.
So a ventriloquist is on stage telling jokes at a local bar with his dummy on his leg. He asks if the audience wants to hear a blonde joke and the audience cheers with general enthusiasm…
“Ok” he starts, “how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”But before he can finish, a blonde woman from the audience stands… Read More »So a ventriloquist is on stage telling jokes at a local bar with his dummy on his leg. He asks if the audience wants to hear a blonde joke and the audience cheers with general enthusiasm…